southerngal in socal

I'm a Crocodile!

2010-06-15T22:05:00.000-07:00

I know this is random & profane (which I rarely am - profane, that is), but this "motivational poster" has been cracking me up ALL DAY! I think this will be my new mantra to say to myself whenever I'm anxious about something at work.

Not to toot my own horn, but....

2010-03-03T19:51:00.000-08:00

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

If you don't like workout talk, then read no more.

Saturday: Boot Camp
Sunday: Run (not walk) 4 miles
Monday Run (not walk) 6 miles
Tuesday: Boot Camp
Wednesday: Kickboxing

I'm training for a half marathon in May. WHAT?!

I'm frustrated b/c I've been working out like this, & trying to diet-ish (what does THAT mean?) since January, & I haven't really lost any weight. The good news? The boot camp incorporates a lot of circuit weight training, which I've never done before, & I have lost inches (9 inches in the first 6 weeks, 4 alone from my waist) & a couple body fat percentages, & C says I "don't look as fat as I did before."

That's gotta be SOME kind of success, right??

A Couple Confessions

2010-02-21T14:31:00.000-08:00

1. C & I just spent too many of life's precious moments (that we can NEVER get back) looking at youtube videos about Justin Bieber, music videos, etc., & then we had to Wikipedia him to see exactly how old he is. He'll be 16 next week in case you're wondering.

2. I've started talking in my sleep again. As I mentioned before, when C got home yesterday I was in the midst of a nap, & responded to his, "hello?" with, "Mom?"

Additionally, C said that the other night I started saying, "I'm happy! I'm happy! [unintelligible gibberrish]."

Last night after I dozed off, C farted* loudly. I said, "Did I do that?"

C responded, "No," to which I disbelievingly replied, "I didn't?!" C repeated, "No," & I said, "ok," & went back to sleep as C silently laughed. This morning he said the funniest part was my assumption that it must've been me!

* Don't worry, this is not turning into a blog devoted to fart stories/jokes, but sometimes? Farts are funny. That's the way the world works, folks.

Bonus confession: C was looking over my shoulder when I first started writing this post, & he instructed me to take out all reference to him in relation to the Justin Bieber research. He said, "Don't include me in that! That was all your doing!" Clearly, I did not do as he said :)

Lazy Saturday

2010-02-20T09:54:00.000-08:00

I love Lazy Saturdays!

But, actually, this isn't going to be too lazy of a Saturday. First, we're headed to the Santa Barbara Farmers Market.

Of course, that's not what the farmer's market looks like now - those veggies aren't what's in season right now. This time of year we usually end up with a lot of citrus fruits and leafy greens.

Tonight we're going to a Moroccan restaurant with some of C's co-workers:

We've never hung out with these co-workers before, but we have been to this Moroccan restaurant. It's really fun - I love sitting on the cushions, having rose water poured over my hands, watching (& NOT participating) in the belly dancing, the bastilla (a sweet pastry stuffed w/savory meat & covered in powdered sugar), the mint tea....

Something else I want to do today, but haven't yet told C, is go for a hike! We have some awesome trails nearby us.

Something else Chris wants me to do, is some room cleaning! Not that the bedroom looks like an episode of "Hoarders" or anything (LOVE that show!), but it's always a challenge being a naturally messy-ish person & balancing my natural penchant for mess with C's natural penchant for neatness & order. Not that I don't ENJOY having a neat, organized room - I do! - I just don't like the process of getting it that way, & it seems to devolve into clothes all over the floor in no time!

I better hop to it! I've got a busy, lazy Saturday to get to! Uh oh - I may have too much to do, & might not get to the room cleaning! Travesty!

**2/21 Update** This just in! I DID get to room cleanin'! I even got to jew-ree organizin' & bed-makin' too! We didn't make the hike, b/c I forgot C had to go to a work site for a couple hours (yuck), but after all that cleanin' I took a nap, & when C got home, he woke me up by saying, "hello?" to which I responded, "Mom?"

Remember when I promised I'd tell you about the TV?

2010-02-17T19:49:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm telling you now!

Our old TV had been broken for awhile, but we just got used to the fact that there was a squiggle at the top of the screen...AND the fact that everyone's heads looked huge. In fact, we didn't even notice it, & wouldn't remember until we had people over who would comment on it! Anyway, the in-laws donated a television of theirs (because they were getting a monster flat screen, & we're too cheap to buy a new TV). We picked it up when we met the in-laws at their mountain house for the MLK Jr. Holiday weekend, & C & father-in-law moaned & groaned & creaked as they loaded the monstrosity into the back of C's truck.

On the way home, we discussed the possibilities for getting the television OUT of the truck and INTO the entertainment center in our home. We got home, & I was all, "Oh, I got it, I got it. I can totally carry it with you."

We opened the back of the truck & slid it to the edge. C said he wasn't going to carry it with me till I showed him I could pick up half, so I showed him (after we switched sides so I could get my "strong" arm appropriately placed!)

Then....then.....We were off! Heading the 10 feet up the walkway to the front door, ~~I think~~ I said, "Hang on!" or "It's slipping!" or "Lean it against the doorway!" or "GO FASTER!" Reasonable minds (a.k.a. mine & C's) can differ on what words were actually exchanged. You like how I gloss over this point? Yeah, basically, it doesn't matter what was said (as in, it doesn't matter NOW. You can bet it mattered A LOT that night). What really matters is that in short order I DROPPED my side of the television, which caused C to DROP the rest of the television, & caused the television to end up screen-side down in the doorway!

Guess where else it landed? Do you have a guess yet?

Here's a hint:

Final hint: not mine.

SO, yeah - that happened. Then C freaked his freak. As in, he freaked the eff out. As in, I've never seen someone freak the way he freaked.

He was in so much pain, & the TV was still half in the door, & half outside (& oh yeah, it was raining). C was ~~saying~~ screaming, "AUGHGH! MY TOE! IT'S BROKEN! WE HAVE TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL! AUGHTHHGHGHG!"

I was more like, "Ohhhhh - sorry! Let's get real though - we can't even close the front door right now," and "we should at least get the TV inside right now." I may also have said things to the effect of, "What is the ER going to do for a broken toe? Re-set it & give you a toe cast for all your friends to sign?" And there might've been a little mention of the $50 ER co-pay.

After a little negotiation, we agreed to slide the TV all the way inside & THEN we could head to the ER. Sooooo - we did! And, by the way, the TV screen was not busted at all.

On the way to the ER, I was saying, "Just say the word, & we'll turn around to ice & elevate your toe at home. There's nothing they can really do for a broken toe." And C was SCREAMING in pain. Also, I am NOT good in stressful situations. I often deal with traumatic situations by LAUGHING - like a jerk. But, I was saying & laughing, "I know, I know - this is not funny. (hahahaha) I'm not trying to laugh (hahahhaha). I can't help it. I'm not laughing because I think this is funny (hahahaha)."

Now, I hesitate to tell you what C said to me, because I don't want you to think this is normal behavior on C's part, but he may or may not have replied with something along the lines of, "I hope your head gets chopped off, so I can laugh at that! HA - HA - HA!" and "You know what I wanna do right now?! I wanna take my freakin' toe & stick it in your freakin' face!" (but, without the "freakin'" if you know what I mean). Of course, this only made me laugh HARDER, because really? You hope my HEAD gets CHOPPED off?!?! Seriously? You want to put your TOE in my FACE while I'm DRIVING?!?!

When we got to the ER, the intake person asked C if he wanted a Vicodin for the pain. C hemmed & hawed, & I asked, "Will it make him chill out?" Once I heard a "yes," I said, "Then, YES, he needs a Vicodin!"

Turns out - C had a subungal hematoma that needed to be treated. "What's a subungal hematoma?" you ask. Well, it's a collection of blood in the space between the nailbed and nail which results from a direct injury to the nail. According to the internets, "The pressure generated by this collection of blood under the nail causes intense pain." You don't say!

I won't tell you all about the treatment - cauterizing the nail (getting a tool really hot to burn through the nail & drain out the blood to relieve the pressure - guess I told you!), but needless to say, it was an adventure.

Of course, I had to tell my co-workers (& anyone else who would listen to me for that matter) all about it the next day. One of my coworkers said that happened to her dad one time, & he freaked the freak out at her mom (totally out of character, according to my coworker), & even passed out UNCONSCIOUS (twice!) from the pain before my coworker & her mom had to call the EMT's!

Apparently (obvi), it WAS a big deal.

And apparently (obvi) I was a big jerk.

But, we (I) got over it pretty quickly, & now we have a funny story to tell. Of course, my favorite part of the story is when C said, "I hope your head gets chopped off!"

Because that? Is pretty freakin' funny.

P.S. Have I mentioned how much I love Google images? When I google imaged "toe," this came up: (no comment)

I'm Not Sure Why ESPN Hasn't Made Me A Job Offer Yet

2010-02-07T19:04:00.000-08:00

The Super Bowl: my game plan was for Chris to watch & drink beers while I made steak taco salad, chili, pico de gallo, & guacamole (which I used to confuse with Guatemala when I was younger). Once the game began, however, I sat down & started watching.

Now, I'm no football fan. I don't really know the rules. I kept saying stuff like, "So if it's __ down, how many chances does that mean they have to make a score?" and "So, why do they have the ball again now?" and "What the heck is a 2-point conversion, & why doesn't everyone do that all the time?"

Fan or not though, I did see early on that the Saints - Who Dat?* - were playing some excellent defense. I got excited & starting talking about how great it was. I exclaimed, "Wow! They are just so amped to be at the Super Bowl! When they tackle someone it's not like 'uhhhhhh.'" [Note, when I said, "uhhhh," I made a face & slow-motion fall down move as if I were a 90 year-old man falling down out of my chair]

I continued, "No, when they tackle someone, it's like 'bope!'" [Note: When I said, "bope!" I made a hook-like motion with my arm, as if I were simultaneously punching someone & taking them down at the same time.]

In my mind, this made perfect sense. My husband, however, just looked at me, laughed, & said, "Wow. You should be a football commentator."

* I don't really know what "Who Dat?" means. My guess is it means, "Who is that?" but I'm not entirely sure what that has to do w/the Saints.

Did I ever tell you?

2010-01-30T11:11:00.000-08:00

About how I dropped a 150 lb. + television on my husband's foot, & then proceeded to LAUGH? I'll tell you all about it soon....

Basically, I have a psychological problem. Clearly.

The Special Plate

2010-01-25T23:56:00.000-08:00

This post is nothing special - just nostalgia. I saw a posting on one of my favorite blogs - www.themcmommychronicles.com - about plates. And it made me remember my family's "special plate." No photos here, because all the special plates I could find online were red. My family's special plate was white with multicolored lettering.

Getting the special plate was special. Duh. Of course you got it on your birthday. And sometimes you got it on other days too - if I played well in a basketball game (which almost never happened, so I'm sure I didn't get the special plate too often for that), if I brought home a good report card (I almost always did, but my parents were usually not that interested in my grades), so really, I guess, I don't know what the special plate was for. It was probably for little things that I can't remember that made someone special that day. There are 5 kids in my family, & it was special if anyone got the special plate, so it's not like it was rotated, & it was bound to come to you every 7th day (parents were included in special plate status). It was just special. Someone would say before dinner sometimes: "______ deserves the special plate tonight because ______." That was all.

I like the special plate idea. I think I want one for my family.

The Rest of the Story

2009-10-21T20:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, so, where were we?

Oh yes, rounding up the last 4 months.

After our Disney World family vacation (yes, my husband is a saint, thanks for asking), we came back to Santa Barbara. We haven't stuck around too much though.

We went camping with some friends - old & new - at San Onofre, a lonely stretch of coast between San Diego & Orange Counties

Guess what happened at the campsite? We found Tupac!

That's my friend Sarah - she's sitting in Tupac's lap. It's kind of ridiculous how hilarious & how much enjoyment 4 grown women & several grown men got out of taking turns taking pictures with Tupac!
"Here - pull the towel down! Now it looks like you're sitting in his lap!" *Snap*
"Wait a minute - put your hand on his chest!" *Snap*
"Hang on - let's all get in the picture together!" *Snap*

Yes, we are easily amused.

Look! I'm a surfer!

Not really...

Ok, do you want to know a crazy "It's a Small World" story?? No? Too bad! It's my blog!

Ok, so this one guy we met on the camping trip (remember I said it was old friends AND new), was a school psychologist for the San Diego school district, & I used to be a legal intern at the district, & we know the same people!

Ok, that's not actually THAT crazy of a story, considering we were camping with a bunch of people who live in San Diego.

Here's where it gets crazy: I come home, upload camping photos onto facebook, & realize I'm not facebook "friends" with the psychologist, so I "friend" him once someone else tags him (If you don't speak facebook, just go with the flow & pretend this makes sense). Ok. After I request to be his friend on facebook, I see we have not one, but TWO mutual facebook friends. Guess who the other one is! A FRIEND OF MINE FROM MY HOMETOWN - HILTON HEAD ISLAND, SC. Where does this hometown friend live? COLORADO! Crazy, right?!?!?!!!

Goosebumps!

Still not done updating, but hopefully soon!

2009-10-20T17:38:00.000-07:00

Soooo....you may have noticed (if I have any readers) that I haven't posted in awhile. What can I say? I've been busy (a.k.a. lazy).

So, what have I been up to since June 19th? Well, I didn't make it through all those potatoes, I'm sad to say, but I did make it through almost all!

So, we went to a summer solstice parade & celebration:

We spent 4th of July weekend with some awesome couples up at my in-laws house at Lake Arrowhead:

We went to Chicago for a wedding of some dear friends we met in San Diego, but live in Chicago now. It was at The Drake Hotel, was one of the most beautiful (& fun!) weddings I've ever been to, & provided an awesome opportunity for us to see the city too!

I had a Girls' Weekend in Santa Barbara - 3 wives/girlfriends came to see me while the men were camping. We went winetasting, & partied it up at Santa Barbara's annual Fiesta celebration. I have no pics, b/c they're incriminating. Actually, that's not true, I have no pics, b/c Chris had the camera that weekend :)

We went to Florida for a family vacation in Disney World!

Did I tell you I had a sister w/Down Syndrome? Well, the cat's out of the bag now...
Guess there's one more thing PW & I have in common - siblings w/developmental disabilities! We're practically the same person.

Except that my sister is the cutest person alive! It's true - It's science.

That's my new thing to say now which totally irritates my husband to death: "It's science." It probably bothers him so much b/c he actually IS a scientist, & I say it in regards to things which are completely unrelated to science, in order to bolster my argument. For example, Me: "I like to keep the coffee stirrer thingie in the mouthpiece while I transport my coffee b/c it keeps the coffee from spilling up through the mouthpiece."
Him: [quizzical look]
Me: "It's true - it's science."

So, we went to Disney World with.....wait for it.....wait for it.... my parents, my 4 siblings, & us! Only 8 people - that's it! That sounds like a reasonable plan, right? Right?

So, this picture down here is the only group shot we have of everyone (dumb, I know), but let's just talk about what's going on here (after you have a chance to gaze in wonder, of course)...

Done gazing in wonder? Ok, so I look a) pregnant?, b) woof!!, or c) both? Ding, ding, ding, the answer's "c"!! My sister, Emma, is making a face at Chris - which is about how she spent half the vacation (see above photo for further proof). My sister, Blair, is wearing what now appears to be a see-through shirt (sorry, Blair!) b/c she's a skank? My brother, Hayden, is looking at the camera like he's going to jump it - b/c he's a gangsta? And my dad is wearing a t-shirt with a picture of Jesus on the cross - b/c that's how we roll!

So....what else have I been up to?

That's going to have to wait for the next post! At least now we're caught up through mid-September!

Potato Rats

2009-06-19T18:04:00.000-07:00

I just bought a 10 pound bag of potatoes for $1.99!! That's like 20 cents a pound! About 10 cents for each large potato! And that's ALL I bought - seriously - I saw the ad & went in & only bought the potatoes. I even paid cash (never happens anymore b/c I usually never have cash). We've been having trouble (self-imposed) living according to our budget lately & too many times we've been dipping into our down payment money. So, guess what's for dinner??

Speaking of potatoes, did I ever tell you about the dead rat in our last house in San Diego?

We lived in this bright, gorgeous, tiny (like less 850 square feet tiny) cottage. And over the course of a few days last year, I noticed a "dead" smell getting worse & worse in the kitchen. The smell was centered on a certain set of drawers & a floor vent was nearby. I just KNEW the smell was a dead rat because at an old office I used to work at, we once had a dead rat in the WALL - so I felt familiar with the smell.

I was able to focus on where the smell was by opening the drawers, sniffing, & then closing them. The smell was obviously coming from BEHIND the bottom drawer. So, I of course knew the rat was somehow in the cabinetry behind the bottom drawer. OR it was in the floor vent (there was a suspicious looking possible dead rat/ possible dust bunny that we could spot down there with a flashlight).

So once I located the smell & determined that it was, in fact, a dead rat, I walked next door to my landlord's house (he was pretty handy) & said, "I know this sounds crazy, but there is a dead rat in our house, & I'm not sure I've even seen it, I've seen no rat droppings, but I've smelled the dead rat, & could you please come get inside the cabinetry & get it out for me?"

He said, "Sure - I once had a dead mouse over here, so it's possible." (Note: I'm no zoologist, but an unwanted rodent in my home will always be called a "rat" & never a "mouse.") The landlord then followed me back home with some tools to take the drawer out of the cabinetry to get at the dead rat behind it.

While he was doing that I was lingering around - identifying the smell & doing other important things. Once the drawer was out the landlord said, "Nope - no dead mouse in here." So then I started to walk over to the vent & point at the suspicious furball down there. When all of a sudden! I looked at the bag of potatoes in the hanging basket between the drawers & the floor vent, picked it up, and......found that the smell was rotten potatoes!!!

I didn't think potatoes GOT rotten! I thought they just got old & shriveled & green & grew eyes, but I didn't they'd really rot! But, that's what the smell was! I was so embarrassed, but the landlord just laughed good-naturedly. I took the bag outside & put it in the garbage can.

And that bag of potatoes? It was only the last of a 5 pound bag. And now I have a 10 pound bag - so we better hurry up & eat them!

Domestic Goddess? Or Domestic Theologian?

2009-06-13T16:46:00.000-07:00

My husband got up this morning at 3:30 A.M. to go FISHING today! Never mind that the man can hardly get up at 7:30 to go to work - apparently, it is no problem to get up at 3:30 to go fishing! Obviously, I need a hobby too. Does sleeping in, going to Zumba class, walking around downtown, going to the farmers market, & cruising around Borders count? Because that's what I did today that was enjoyable.

What did I do today that was not enjoyable? Housecleaning. Why did I do such a thing? Because apparently it is not acceptable to live in squalor. So, housecleaning is what I did (I say "did," but the kitchen isn't quite spotless yet!)

I hate housecleaning, & as much as I want to be a housewife - it's really more about the idea of not working than keeping up the house. I should have failed home economics in the 6th grade. I went to public school up through 6th grade, & 6th grade was the year I went to the brand spanking new middle school in town - prior to that, students were bussed to the next town over for middle school - no lie!

One part of the class involved making biscuits from scratch. We made them in class, we worked in teams & followed the recipe, & they were pretty good. Then one Saturday I had the bright idea of making them at home with the neighbor girl. She was a few years younger than me, & really she was my sister's friend. But my sister's friends in the neighborhood thought I knew what I was talking about because I was older, so they generally went along with whatever I wanted...whenever I deigned to allow them to be around me of course - which was only when I had no one else to play with of course. So, I swore up & down to the neighbor girl that I remembered EXACTLY how to make the biscuits! We made them, & we packed them up & took them to her house & made her mom eat one. Guess what I forgot to put in them?

Yeast!

They were rocks.

So, yeah - that happened.

Another part of the home economics class involved sewing aprons (I presume to be worn during biscuit-making). Now, I'm no seamstress (see above - I should have failed home ec in the 6th grade), but as I recall, the apron-making involved cutting the fabric according to a pattern, sticking safety pins in the parts that were to be sewn, ironing the fabric, & then sewing it. I think this was the last project of the year, because I never actually finished my apron. I got up to the ironing, & that was about it. Oh, & it wasn't something that was to finished in one day - no way. We did apron-making for over a week!

Why didn't I get past the ironing part?

I was too busy philosophizin', theologizin', and proselytizen' of course!

Once I got to the ironing station, my friend Ashley was also ironing. We conspired together that we were in no hurry to sew our aprons, so we would just iron the fabric, & iron the fabric, & iron the fabric - for at least a week's worth of class periods! And it worked! The teacher never said anything about the fact that we spent at least 5-8 class periods ironing the fabric for our aprons - ha! Amateur!

What did Ashley & I talk about while we ironed & ironed? Religion, of course (so much for separation of Church & State). Ashley was a Mormon, & I felt it my duty to let her know that Mormonism was a cult, & of course that the fact that they called themselves "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" was not fooling me! I told her I knew they just called themselves that so people would think they were Christians, when they really weren't. I told Ashley that the Mormons weren't Christians because they thought you had to do good deeds to go to heaven, & as any real Christian knows, all you have to do is believe in Jesus Christ. (Thank goodness, right?)

Ashley didn't argue too much with me, although she did defend her Mormonism. She was pretty suggestible anyway (agreeing with me sometimes) & didn't put up a fight when I announced to everyone at the ironing station that "Ashley is Mormom & Mormonism is a cult." I - as you can see - had no problem telling people what was what.

My talents did not lie, however, in the domestic arts. I didn't fail home economics (either my teacher didn't notice I was ironing for days on end, or she didn't want to be part of my religious debate), but I certainly never finished the apron either.

It's a good thing I went to a Christian school the year after that - so I didn't have to call people out for being in cults!

As far as my housecleaning efforts today go though, I'm thinking that, in the end - although I had to do the housecleaning - at least I'm not expected to bring home this:

Let's hope that's what he's bringing home in less than an hour! White sea bass is my favorite!

P.S. Isn't he so cute?! I mean the fish, of course.

Ba-Dum, Dum, Ching!

2009-05-13T19:24:00.000-07:00

A lot of people think my husband is pretty quiet & unassuming, but let me tell you, he cracks me up on a daily basis. He makes me laugh so freakin' hard, & I don't know if other people know what a comedian he is. He keeps it inside & saves it up for me I guess.

2 things that totally cracked me up last night, & still had me laughing today - they both center around our trip to Bed, Bath, & Beyond (BB&B - not as fun as BYOB).

We went to get a new shower curtain for 2 reasons: 1) the one we have is really dirty & since we're having houseguests, it's easier to get a new one than clean the one we have; & 2) the one we have is CLEAR which means that when someone is on the toilet at the same time as someone is in the shower, the two people can see each other. This isn't so much a problem usually since just the 2 of us live here (although I'm sure Chris could stand to stop hearing me in the morning saying, "Don't look over here! I have to pee!" when I get up), but since we're having houseguests, & since we only have one bathroom, it might be nice for someone to take a shower to not have to see the person on the toilet, & vice versa.

So, while we were at BB&B we saw the (oooh!) soap dishes! And (aaah!) toothbrush holders! And they not only matched each other - but they also matched our bathroom trashcan. Since we didn't already have a soap dish & we didn't already have a toothbrush holder, AND since they matched each other AS WELL AS our trashcan, we obviously needed those items. So, we were both like, "should we? should we?" & Chris finally said, "well, ok, I mean....we totally wouldn't be getting these, except, you know.....your birthday is coming up!"

That cracked me right up! Then I totally tried to convince him that he should wrap them up, & present them to me as a birthday gift while my family's here for my birthday! He wouldn't go that far though - something about not wanting to look like a crappy husband in front of my family or some such nonsense.

THEN, on the way home from BB&B, I was like, "Did you ever think that you would get so excited over a matching soapdish & toothbrush holder?" & he was all, "no, I did not!" I said, "oh honey, you're so domesticated," to which he responded, "RRRAAAOOOOOAAAARRRR!"

I was like, "oh wait, no you're not! You're a wild man beast!" He said, "Yes! I will rip your arm off & club you with it!"

I don't know if our brand of humor is really making any sense to anyone - but believe me, this had me laughing so hard I snorted, & not because I think the prospect of domestic violence directed at me is funny.

So Freakin' Excited & Other Randomness

2009-05-12T18:28:00.000-07:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I said I was "back in the saddle." I've actually been in a depression (not really) b/c we didn't win anything :( Good thing we don't play the lotto that often, b/c I could not deal w/the constant disappointment if we did!

So, you ask, why am I So.Freakin'.Excited? Because I have family houseguests coming TOMORROW! My MOM (awesome!), my SISTER (awesome!), & my Aunt Sherri (awesome!) are all flying in tomorrow night! Ever since I moved from South Carolina to California - almost 4 & a half years ago - I have missed my family something fierce! So, even though I see some part of my family every few months, I am always SO FREAKIN' EXCITED when that time comes!

That's my sister above trying to help me get back in the tube last 4th of July when we had the awesome (not!) idea to tube all the way to Otter Island - even though the only life jackets on board made us look like Sponge Bob Square Pants. Look how helpful she is!

I also have a 4 day weekend coming up because I'm taking off Thursday & Friday to be with my family!!! Yay!

Omigah! I.Cannot.Wait! Do you remember that show "Newlyweds" with Nick Lachey & Jessica Simpson? Of course you do - don't pretend otherwise. Anyway, in one episode Jessica kept saying, "omigah!" and someone (her mom? Nick? can't remember) was asking her why she was saying that instead of "omigod," & she defended the word because it's sacreligious to take the Low-erd's name in vain. She's right. It's one of the 10 Commandments - look it up if you don't believe me. Anyway, I totally agree, & ever since then, I have tried to use "omigah" instead of "omigod," although I never mention that I got it from Jessica Simpson (too shameful).

I have been So.Freakin'.Excited about my fam's visit lately, & then my Aunt Cheryl - who lives in Montana - called me over the weekend because she's in California on vacation right now, so she's coming to visit tomorrow & Thursday too. Omigah!! Me, my mom, Aunt Sherri (who's real name is Sheryl too, btw), & my Aunt Cheryl will all be here at the same time. It will be awesome fun. I hope the hubby can stand it :)

So obviously, I am related to my mother because she birthed me (& my sister Blair), & I am related to my sister Blair because we have the same mother & biological father (not true for all my siblings, so pay attention). And guess how Aunt Cheryl & Aunt Sherri are related to me & my mom & sister? Ok, concentrate now, & I'll tell you:

Aunt Sherri is my biological father's sister, a.k.a. my mom's ex-husband's sister, a.k.a my mom's ex-sister-in-law.

Aunt Cheryl is my mother's brother's ex-wife, a.k.a. ALSO my mom's ex-sister-in-law.

In other words, my mom will be chillin' with her daughters (only 2 of them - she has another), & her ex-husband's sister (a.k.a. her ex-sister-in-law) as well as her brother's ex-wife (a.k.a. ALSO her ex -sister-in-law).

My Aunt Sherri will be chillin' with her nieces, her brother's ex-wife (a.ka. her ex-sister-in-law), & her brother's ex-wife's ex-sister-in-law (a.k.a. her ex-sister-in-law's ex sister-in-law).

My Aunt Cheryl will be chillin' out maxin' & relaxin' all cool (but no shootin' some b-ball outside of the school) with her ex-husband's sister (a.k.a. her ex-sister-in-law) and ex-nieces by marriage (although we still totally consider her an aunt, & not an ex-aunt - she's way better than her sucessor), and her ex-husband's sister's ex-sister-in-law (a.k.a. her ex-sister-in-law's ex-sister-in-law). Confused yet? My head hurts....

The best part? We all get along swimmingly, we all love each other, & we're all totally psyched on seeing each other. Really! I'm not being sarcastic. I.Cannot.Wait!

This actually isn't a picture of my family - it's just here to remind people that some families? Are WAY weirder than mine, mmmkay?

BTW, "The Fresh Prince" theme song? I know you caught the reference above!! I thought I was soooo coooool that I knew all the words back in the day! And it was my husband, who only in the last couple years, corrected me on the above-mentioned lyric. Apparently, it does NOT say, "Chillin' out maxin' & relaxin' all cool while shootin' some MEATBALL outside of the school...."

Him: Meatball? Really? I can't believe you thought that! You played basketball in high school for cryin' out loud! You should know that a short term for "basketball" is "b-ball" - not MEATBALL!

Me: Yeah, yeah, I knew "b-ball" was short for basketball, but I thought "meatball" was maybe some kind of African-American lingo for basketball too.....

Him: What?! How could you think that?!

Me: There was only 1 black person in my senior class.

Him: Oh.

I win, I win, I win!

2009-04-16T19:56:00.000-07:00

I am about to win 2 HUGE prizes!

First, I'm going to win a million dollar house because I entered this raffle:

I know you can't see that (b/c it's a crappy image, but I'm too lazy to find a good one), but it's the 4th Annual Santa Barbara Million Dollar Home Raffle. We bought a ticket ($150 - I know, frivolous) a couple months ago, & the drawing is in a few weeks! They limit the amount of tickets sold, & the odds aren't too bad ~~but also aren't that good~~. BTW, if I had that $150 right now, I so would not buy a ticket - we could really use the $$$ after Uncle Sam took his share! But I just know we'll be so glad we bought it when we win it :)

Second, I am going to win a trip to the Galapogos Island with this guy:

(Ha! I love that a shirtless picture of Alex Trebek was one of the 1st to show up on Google Images!)

Jeopardy is doing a promotion for about 6 weeks where you can enter daily to win a 10 day trip to the Galapagos with Alex! And today, I entered!

As you may have noticed, everytime I enter a contest, I really believe I'm going to win it (which proves that The Secret is total bullcrap). It's a good thing I don't play the lottery regularly, because on the few times a year that I play, I save my ticket & count down the minutes till the numbers are posted.

My belief that I will win runs so deep, that I already know exactly what I'll do when I win. With the lottery, the plan is usually that I'll quit my job (w/a 2 week notice of course, but realistically, how productive do you think I'll be? pfffft!), & immediately take an amazing trip with my family to an exclusive resort in the Carribbean.

When I win the house (May 11th - mark your calendars, folks!), I'm going to take the cash (there's a million dollar cash option), because I can't afford the winners' tax on the house (which would be about $500,000), & then I'll buy a house with the leftovers. With the trip (nevermind that I've entered once, & the contest has been going on for over 2 weeks), I'll first jump up & down like Olive from Little Miss Sunshine screaming, "I won! I won! I won! I won!" & then I'll save up my vacation time for October when the cruise takes place.

I can't wait!

P.S. Yes, I know, I haven't posted in months, & my only excuse is that I've moved - physically - from San Diego to Santa Barbara. I have no other excuse, because actually? I have more time these days! Yay! No more billable hours! I will say, however, that as far as blogging goes, I'm back in the saddle & ready to ride!

P.P.S. Don't tell anyone, ok? but I don't know how to ride a horse....this was hard to get around when I went to horse camp, but that's another story.

White Christmas

2009-01-08T22:28:00.000-08:00

I know, I know - it's January 8th (almost 9th!) and I'm only now posting about Christmas. But, I've kind of had a lot on my plate lately, & I'm not exactly known for my punctuality (read: I'm late to EVERYTHING).

It was my first Christmas away from my family (with the husband's family) and I was weepy on and off all day that day. It was still a lot of fun and a great Christmas. It was my 2nd real white Christmas (it actually snowed over Christmas on Hilton Head in 1987 - total fluke!), and my in-laws house in the mountains was beautiful. We left Christmas Eve (only 2.5 hours later than we said we would!) and made the 2.5 hour trek to the mountains.

We stayed until Sunday, and spent our days by the fire eating, playing games (we've developed quite the Rummikub addiction), reading (I finished Look Me in the Eyes and read more of Papillon which is taking me forever to finish), playing Sudoku (ok, only I did that), and browsing cookbooks to plan for more eating! Did I mention eating? It's how I celebrate the birth of the our Lord, ok?

We went into town one day, and went sledding another. I couldn't stop taking pictures of things in the snow! Some of my favorite things to capture on film were signs that said "Icy."

What? Is it icy here? You don't say!

What? What's that you're trying to say? I can't quite make it out because the sign is covered with ICE! haaahaaahaaa - I'm sure my husband was NOT sick of me making this joke over and over and over. If anyone knows how to beat a dead horse (and then kick it, and then shoot it, and then flog it, and then club it, and then tase it, and then, and then), it's me!

Other favorite subjects included illustrations of how some people were going to um, uhhhh, have a hard time going anywhere anytime soon:

Honey? Could you just run out to the store? We're out of milk. Good thing our VW bug is in the garage!

Honey? I left my cellphone in the Mini Cooper again! Could you just run out & get it real quick?

But my real favorite Christmas photo is...........

is................

is...............

This one!

Hey! I didn't say this was a family friendly blog!

Note: I do not actually know that man up there. No way. And I CERTAINLY wouldn't marry someone as immature as that! What kind of gal do you think I am?!

Southern Gal in Central Cal?

2009-01-06T22:51:00.001-08:00

Southern Gal (Shelley - me) is (am?) moving!

Yes! We're moving to Santa Barbara! The town is named after Saint Barbara, my mother. No, my mother is not Saint Barbara, but her name is Barbara, & so it makes me think of my mom to know we're moving to Santa Barbara.

I got a bomb ass job there (do people say "bomb ass" anymore? Is it not only obscene by the usage of "ass" but also dorky? Because if so, that would kill me - Figuratively - of course). So, my job is at UCSB - University of California Santa Barbara, & I will tell you more about it later when I feel like boring everyone. And by everyone, I mean no one, because no one reads this. And they shouldn't, because I always forget to post.

Moving on!

We're moving to Santa Barbara! Oprah lives there! I will go on power walks with her & Gail all the time! I can't wait!

I will let you know all about the power walks I enjoy with Oprah followed by all the awesome spa-worthy healthy meals of salmon & asparagus that we will savor after our walks while we talk about poverty & books!

Stay tuned!

Baking Frogs

2008-12-15T11:04:00.001-08:00

I did A LOT of baking this weekend! I made some cinnamon rolls and cookies with candy from this site (www.thepioneerwoman.com), & I made some chocolate mint squares from this site (www.stumpthechef.blogspot.com), & I made some Monster cookies from a Paula Deen cookbook I have. Pictures and recipes to come later! Let me just say, "Yummy!"

I was in the kitchen baking almost all day yesterday, & I only set off the smoke alarm three times! whoo hoo! Yes, I am serious. I set off the smoke alarm three times. I don't know what the problem is - everything turned out perfect. I think I just have a smoky oven.

While I was baking, my husband was in the other room working on his thesis paper (I'm afraid to say so in fear of jinxing him, but he is soooo clooooose to being done!), and each time the alarm went off, he came out into the kitchen to open the door and windows while I waved a dirty dishrag up in the air over the smoke detector in an effort to clear the air and stop the insanity-inducing beeps.

And you know what's weird? Each time it happened I had NO IDEA that it was ridiculously smoky in the house. My husband would say, "Do you not notice when it starts to get smoky in here?" I said, "No. I'm like the frog who boils to death!" He was like, "What?!"

And (please tell me I'm not the only one who has heard about this) I explained to him that if you put a live frog in a pot of boiling water, he hops out. But, if you put a live frog in merely warm water, and heat it till boiling, he never hops out and he boils to death. I am like that frog, because it would get smokier and smokier, and I wouldn't know a thing of it until the insanity-inducing beeps began. Then my husband would walk out, and I'd look around and think, "wow! It's really smoky in here!"

My husband just looked at me like, "Who would want to boil a live frog anyway?!!"

I Could Have Died

2008-11-14T15:28:00.001-08:00

I should preface this story by telling you my husband thinks I'm a little, teensy, weensy bit overdramatic sometimes. For instance, the other night while making dinner I opened up an ancient canister of breadcrumbs & discovered bugs in it. I don't want to describe it, because it makes me throw up a little bit in my mouth. Since my husband was at school, I had to take care of the situation - meaning, I had to quickly slam the lid down, wrap the whole thing in a grocery bag, & take it out to the trashcan outside. When my husband got home I said, "Honey!! We had a MAJOR situation tonight while you were gone! MAJOR!"

So, "I Could Have Died" as a title for this next story of what happened to me today could be an exaggeration. But, still, it was really scary.

About 30 minutes ago I had to go to the bathroom. So, I walked out of my office, and down the hall towards the bathroom just in time to see my secretary walking in the bathroom. Now, there are 3 stalls in the bathroom, but for - ahem, cough, cough - PERSONAL reasons, I did not want anyone I knew to be in the bathroom while I was in there. So I thought, "no problem, I'll just go down one more floor to go to the bathroom." I work on the 14th floor, & I figured I'd take the stairs instead of the elevator. So, I opened the door to the stairway, let it shut behind me, and walked down to the 13th Floor.

When I got there, the door to the hallway from the stairway was LOCKED! I thought, "oh, wow. I wonder why it's locked? Maybe there's some secret government business on that floor. I'll just walk back up to 14." So, I walked up to 14, and....guess what happened...

Did you guess?

Yup! It was LOCKED! There were all these helpful signs giving the phone number for building security or maintenance, except I didn't take my phone on this bathroom trip!

I walked up to the 15th Floor, and.....

and....

IT WAS LOCKED! So, I walked up to the 16th Floor, and.......and......

IT WAS LOCKED! By that time I'd discovered there was a pattern. Yup, I'm a fast learner all righty.

So, I did what anyone else would do in the same situation. I knocked on the door. I banged & banged & banged & banged & banged & yelled "Help!" & banged & banged, & (deep breath) banged & yelled, "HELP! I'm stuck in the stairway!" and

and

and

Someone FINALLY came to my rescue! This nice guy (a Moby doppelganger if I ever saw one), opened the door & I said breathlessly, "Thank you! Thank you so much!" He said, "I could barely hear you from my office...." As he's looking at me quizzically like, "what the H-E-double hockey sticks were you doing in there?!" I said, "um, I work on 14 & didn't know the doors locked on you when you went into the stairway...." He said, "yeah....it's like that on all floors. It's a security thing" And I can TELL he still wants to know why I was in there! Like maybe I'm the EXACT reason for the security protocol! So, what did I say?

What?

What?

Well, I couldn't tell him the TRUTH of course! So, I said....

I said...

"I had to use the bathroom, & the one on my floor was really stinky, so I thought I could walk down another floor."

YES! That's what I said! In hindsight, I should have said that the bathroom was overflowing OR that there was a line OR, OR, OR ANYTHING else! I can't believe that was the best lie I could think of at that time!

Sheesh.

I think I need one of these:

Possible Business Idea

2008-11-10T22:48:00.000-08:00

I am always thinking of new business ideas. Basically, I want to make money without working. I have big plans for winning the lottery, except I keep forgetting that I actually need to play in order to win.

My husband and I came up with a brilliant business plan over the weekend.

We saw a truck with a sign on it that said something like, "Be on YouTube! By having footage of yourself on YouTube, you can become famous, start a vlog, keep in touch with family and friends, and so much more! For $100 I will place 10 minutes of footage on YouTube in your name. Call me at 555-135-2468 today!"

I looked at the sign, looked at my husband, and remembered that it's free to start a YouTube account and put footage on YouTube! Anyone can do it - for FREE! But, this guy in the truck was banking on people not knowing that. After cracking up for a few minutes, we came up with a business idea of our own.

So, our business idea is this (in outline form, because this is a serious business plan):

1. First, we have to know our market. We will advertise on fliers and in-person at retirement communities and in nursing homes.

2. Second, we have to know our product or service. We will set up e-mail accounts for people who don't have them.

What? That doesn't sound impressive?

Wait until you hear our pitch!

"Are YOU sick and tired of feeling left out when you hear everyone talking about the interweb, the world wide net, and e-mail accounts because YOU don't have an e-mail address, and you've never received an e-mail letter?! Well, for the low, low price of $99.99, you can have your very own e-mail address! You don't need to go to the post office or pay property taxes - the price is all-inclusive and we will do everything necessary to set up your own e-mail address in your very own name! If you act now, we will even throw in a personalized e-mail letter addressed to YOU! That's right folks, not only will we give you an e-mail address, but we'll also see to it that YOU receive at least one e-mail letter!"

What do you think? Is this business idea a winner or what?! I'm thinking that with this idea I won't even have to play the lottery!

Social Engagements

2008-11-09T13:24:00.000-08:00

I have always been a gregarious, outgoing, sociable person. But lately, especially since getting married, I've become a bit more of homebody.

That said, it is still difficult for me to turn down an social invitation, and if I do turn one down, I inevitably end up feeling like I've missed out on something.

This week was a whirlwind of activity for me. I cannot believe the sheer volume of socializing I took part in! It was great, & has left me exhuasted.

Tuesday: Right after work I met some girlfriends for happy hour and we barhopped our way down to the Madonna concert. I got home around 12:30.

Thursday: Around 8:00 p.m. some girlfriends picked me up and we picked up a friend visiting from out of town at the airport, and then we hung out and had cocktails at a friend's house. I got home around 12:30.

Friday: After work I hightailed it to Pacific Beach to meet some friends for Happy Hour. I went straight from Happy Hour back home to pick up my husband and we met some other friends out for dinner. Then we all went out to a club downtown. I got home around 2:30.

Saturday: Some friends picked up my husband and I for dinner and a concert. We got home around 11:30.

I had so much fun all weekend long, but now I am longing to be a homebody again. So, I will not be socializing much.....at least until next weekend when I fly out to North Carolina to meet up with my girlfriends for a long weekend Girls' Trip! Wheeee!

The Gauntlet

2008-11-03T19:24:00.000-08:00

Everyday after work, I walk through a gauntlet to get to my car. I park in a garage that's attached to a mall across the street from my office building, and I have to walk through the mall to get to my car. The shops beckoning their sales are not the problem, but rather the peddlers at the kiosks who are hawking their wares.

They don't do this at the malls at home (South Carolina), but here, people that work in kiosks try to get your attention to talk to you, get you take a sample of lotion, see their magic trick, etc. It's frustrating to me that everyday, after I put in full day's work, I have to weave my way through their "excuse me"'s and "hello miss"'s. I feel like I'm in a Moroccan market (not that I've ever been in a Moroccan market of course).

When my parents came to visit, my dad was unaware that it's perfectly polite and accepted to ignore these peddlers. Instead my dad stopped each time and listened for a minute before saying, "you know, I'm really not interested. Besides, we're kind of in a hurry to get to the ballgame. But, thank you for telling me about it!" I had to tell him that it was okay to not respond to them, and that it's easier if you don't look at them.

I'm actually usually pretty polite. I usually glance away and say, "No thanks" in response to their attempts to engage in conversation. I sometimes resent that I even have to do that. Today, wearing a suit, I was thinking, "Do they think this is my pleasure shopping suit? Do they think this is the suit I wear when I'm in the market for a new lotion, sarong, hair piece, etc.? Can they not see that I am just coming from work, and thus not shopping?" So, I was not surprised when I exploded on one of these hapless souls. I knew it was bound to happen sometime.

After a particularly long day at work, I was walking through the gauntlet when one of the guys said, "Excuse me, miss?" I did my usual glance and "no, thanks." This person was undaunted though. He said, "Ok, but can I just ask you a question then?"

I said, as I stopped, and turned around, "Puh-leeeze! I've been at work all day! No! You cannot ask me a question! I'm just trying to get to my car to go home!" Oh gosh, I was so embarrassed after this! He responded as I walked away in shame, "Well sor-RY!" I scurried as fast as I could to get to the garage as people stared at the rude woman in the suit.

I think to avoid further embarrassment and/or frustration, I just need to individually tell these people, "Look at me. Memorize my face please. You will see me every Monday through Friday when I leave work. I do not want anything you are selling ever when I'm leaving work, I just want to go home." Yes, I'll start on that just as soon as I find my decency and manners - where did I leave them?!

In other news, do you know what tomorrow is? Tuesday, November 4th, 2008. It's a big deal. It's....

it's....

it's.....

it's the day of the Madonna concert and I'm going! Whoo hoo!

What's that you say? There's something else important going on tomorrow? I can't think of ANYTHING!

Chicken and Jack-O-Lanterns

2008-11-01T20:21:00.000-07:00

I roasted a chicken the other night for dinner. If someone could tell me the difference between roasting and baking, and why we call some things "roasted" and others "baked" I'd appreciate it. Thank you.

I adapted the chicken from a recipe found in Bride & Groom First and Forever Cookbook, a book we got as an engagement gift. We have tried many recipes from this book and have not been disappointed yet.

I hadn't roasted a whole chicken in a long time, and the first time I roasted one was on November 12, 2007. I know this because when I try a recipe in a cookbook for the first time, I like to jot down the date and a little summary of my opinion. The inscription next to the roasted chicken recipe says, "Delish! So easy, juicy, & yummy. I should make it once a week. Best meal I've cooked since being married!"

I remember my husband that night - 11/12/07 - saying it was the best meal I'd cooked since we'd been married. Of course, we were married on November 2, 2007, and had returned from our honeymoon less than a week prior to making this, so it wasn't some huge proclamation on his part.

Here's how I made it the other night.

First, it is important to pour yourself a glass of wine. You'll need to loosen up in order to later reach your hand inside of a raw chicken - ewwwww! Then I preheated the oven to 425 degrees.

I chopped a large onion into eighths (that word looks weird) and 3 carrots into thirds (I don't peel them because I like how it makes them look rustic - because San Diego is sooooo rustic as you probably have heard). I used 5 red potatoes, and chopped them in half or fourths depending on their size. Then, I put them in a baking dish and tossed them with 1 tablespoon of melted butter. Now that I think about it, celery would be a good addition too.

Then I took the raw chicken out of the wrapper, reached my hand inside and took out the neck, heart, gizzards, and whatever else was in there. I don't even know why they still sell chickens with all this stuff in it. If anyone other than my 80 year-old grandmother actually uses these parts, please raise your hand.

After rinsing and patting dry the chicken I put it in the center of the baking dish (moving the veggies to the edges) and seasoned it with sea salt and ground pepper (I also threw some salt into the inside, but no pepper because I was sick of touching the darn thing). Actually, all this talk of "the chicken" reminds me of something one of my dearest friends told me once. She worked with dead bodies during graduate school, and she said you always referred to them as "Mr. ___" or "Ms. ___" instead of "the body" - using their names imparted the respect these people deserved. We should do the same with food. From here on out, this chicken will be called "Ms. Periwinkle."

After placing Ms. Periwinkle in the pan (I now realize this name business is silly, but I have to stick with it here), I basted her with 2 tablespoons of melted butter. Then I put some fresh marjoram sprigs inside of her and around her, a tablespoon of minced garlic underneath her (so as not to burn the garlic), and put Ms. Periwinkle in the oven for 45 minutes.

I removed the dish from the oven after that time, and with tongs tilted Ms. Periwinkle, pouring her juices from her cavity onto the vegetables, and stirred them around to coat them in the juices. Then I roasted Ms. Periwinkle for another 20 minutes and took her out.

As you can see, I transferred Ms. Periwinkle and the vegetables (that sounds like a good name for a band: "Ms. Periwinkle and The Vegetables!") to a different pan. I can't remember why, but I think I had a good reason at the time. Then I made a little tent of tin foil, put it over Ms. Periwinkle, and let her sit for 10 or 15 minutes before carving and enjoying her juicy deliciousness.

I just realized that sounds salacious - "her juicy deliciousness" - but I'm keeping it, because it aptly describes how Ms. Periwinkle tasted. Ok, this is where the name business has to stop. I will no longer refer to my food as "Mr. ____" or "Ms. ____" - that was not a very well thought out idea I guess.

Here's the recipe from the book in my own words (so you can see I didn't follow it exactly, & so I can shorten the lengthy directions - you've read enough already) :

Ingredients:

3 carrots, cut into thirds

6 small red new potatoes, quartered if large

1 medium yellow onion, cut into 6 wedges

3 tbsp. unsalted butter, melted, or olive oil

1 chicken (3-4 pounds)

1 lemon, quartered

2 fresh rosemary sprigs

4 cloves garlic, peeled and smashed

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

2. Put carrots, onions, & potatoes in 9X13 glass baking dish. Toss with 1 tbsp. of butter. Spread veggies to edges of dish to make room for the chicken.

3. Remove crap from inside chicken and discard. Rinse bird under cold water and pat dry. Put chicken, breast-side up, in the center of the baking dish (I just realized that I think I've been cooking chicken upside-down). Brush chicken with 2 tbsp. butter. Season cavity and skin generously with kosher salt and pepper to taste. Put lemon quarters and rosemary sprigs inside cavity, and put garlic cloves under the chicken.

4. Roast for 45 minutes. Remove dish from oven, and using tongs, tilt chicken to pour juices from cavity onto vegetables; then shake to coat. Baste chicken with pan juices, and if its browining too quickly cover it with aluminum foil. Put it back into the oven until its 170-175 degrees (25-30 minutes more).

5. Transfer chicken to a platter, cover loosely with foil, and let stand 10-15 minutes before carving. Using the back of a spoon, mash the garlic and squeeze some lemon into the pan juices. Toss juices with vegetables, and then carve and serve.

A note at the end of the recipe, has what appears to be a GREAT idea. I haven't tried it yet, but it looks really good! Here it is: "Our favorite way to serve roasted chicken to our families is to carve all the meat from the bones after the meat has rested and chop it into bite-sized pieces. We then return the meat to the garlickly, lemony pan juices, re- season it with more salt and peper, and toss with the vegetables. This way, every last bit of the chicken is well seasoned and moist throughout (breasts included)."

Finally, we carved pumpkins 2 nights before Halloween, and they looked like this:

Then...

Come Halloween, they looked like this:

Um, what happened to the guy on the left? And why do they both look overtaken with mold? I have a hypothesis (although I'm definitely not the scientist in the family): we got sick of scooping out the insides, and left some of the goopy stuff inside before carving. Oh well, it's a learning experience!

Do Not See This Movie!

2008-10-30T10:27:00.001-07:00

So last night, my husband had class until 10:00 p.m. (he's finishing up a masters program), and I decided I'd roast a chicken for a late dinner (more about that later). I thought I'd watch a movie while I made dinner, and on one of the movie channels was "Leaving Las Vegas." So, I watched it. And now I am less of a person.

It's several years old and stars Nicholas Cage and Elisabeth Shue (who I looooved in "Adventures in Babysitting"). Now for some reason, I thought this was going to be a happy story, the synopsis on the television said something like, "A man goes to Vegas to drink himself to death and meets and falls in love with a prostitute." So, I was thinking "Pretty Woman." I was thinking they'd fall in love, he'd stop drinking himself to death, and she would stop prostituting, and they'd get married and live happily ever after.

Not so! And once I realized what a horrible story it was going to be, I was already sucked in! So, this is how they fell in love: he hired her on the street, they didn't "do it" (sorry, I'm 12), they talked & drank all night. Then she left and got beat up and cut by her pimp. Then later they would hang out. He kept drinking all the time, and she kept prostituting. They were lonely, so he moved into her craptastic apartment. He paid the rent, she kept prostituting, he kept drinking himself to death.

One night while he was at a casino (totally drunk), he saw her coming onto a potential client. So he hired a prostitute, and she came home while he was with the other prostitute. Oh, and he was drunk and practically unconscious when she came home that night. She was broken-hearted and went back out on the streets. She got picked up by 3 guys who ended up beating her to a bloody pulp and gang banging her. Later she found him (the alcoholic) at a dumpy hotel, and stayed with him while he died. The End.

Uplifting story, right?

I'm not sure why I was thinking this was going to a funny or happy story - I was imagining a Vegas wedding with skydiving Elvises - but I must have been confused with another movie. So, whatever you do, Do Not See This Movie! It was horrible! Ok, maybe I would only recommend this movie to someone who thought alcoholism or prostitution was glamorous. That's the only situation in which seeing this movie is not a horrible idea.

I Literally Have a Point

2008-10-29T10:46:00.000-07:00

Sorry, no photos for today's post. My camera has been eating batteries - literally.

(Brief aside: the previous sentence contains a big pet peeve of mine. Do you see it? I misused the term "literally." We all know what "literally" means, so we must all know that a camera cannot literally eat batteries - a camera is not an animate object, and it cannot eat. A correct statement would be that a camera literally cannot eat batteries.)

Anyways, although there are no photos, this post does have a point.

(Another brief aside: the previous sentence also contains a glaring mistake. Do you see it? I said "anyways" as opposed to "anyway." I didn't always know this was incorrect. Long before meeting my fabulous husband, I dated this guy who was kind of a jerk, but he had a cute Australian accent. He pointed out to me that I said "anyways" instead of "anyway," and that I was incorrect. Of course he said things like, "oh crikey," so it's not like he was a master of the English language. Anyhow, since then I have been careful to say "anyway," and not "anyways.")

What was I saying? Oh yes, this post does have a point. And it is.....

It is.......

It is.......

I'm trying to lose some weight. Boring! Trite! I know!

My first wedding anniversary is coming up this Sunday, and I currently weigh 14 pounds more than I did a year ago. Literally 14 pounds! And I didn't even have a baby during the year! If I had given birth during the year, it would be acceptable. But, I did not. At this rate, I'll have gained a total of 70 pounds at my 5-year anniversary. Although that might make me eligible to be on one of my favorite reality shows, "The Biggest Loser", I'd much rather be on "The Amazing Race", and you just don't see fatties on that show.

Don't worry - this isn't turning into a weight loss (or stagnation, or eek-gain!) blog. I just wanted to put it out there, and by putting it out there I'll hopefully work hard to attain success. Wish me luck!

Don't worry: The next post will be back to pointless, non-weight-related drivel.

Another Tale

2008-10-27T18:18:00.000-07:00

Do you know what these are?

Here's a hint: I photographed them in San Francisco.

When my husband and I were on vacation a few weeks ago, we spent a couple nights in San Francisco at the end of the week. We tried to - in one day - see the best of San Francisco. We rode the cable car down to Fisherman's Wharf

We ate clam chowder in a bread bowl and whole dungeness crab.

We walked through the North Beach area and through Chinatown.

While we were in Chinatown, I got an iced tea drink that had aloe plant in it - LOTS of actual chunks of aloe plant were in the tea (much like tapioca in boba tea) and it was surprisingly very refreshing.

Another store in Chinatown was selling these:

And the same store was also selling these:

So have you guessed what they are yet? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Ok, they're this:

The price is a little steep, don't you think?

Hola Amigos!

2008-10-24T14:31:00.000-07:00

Before I went to law school, I was working as the office manager for a local outdoor outfitting and kayak tour company on Hilton Head Island. A few times a year, when we would get a large shipment of kayaks that needed to be displayed in the store, or if we needed a new air conditioning unit installed, one of the other managers (let's call him "Harold") would go to the "field of dreams" - a not-so-nice name for the open lot by the highway where some people, Latinos mostly (immigration status unknown), would hang out waiting for people to pick them up for odd jobs. Harold would pick up some of these people and pay them to help place the kayaks in the store, work in the ventilation system, or whatever from time to time.

One of the times Harold did this I walked in to the store, and I heard him saying to one of these guys, "Uh, hey, Gringo! Move the kayak-o over there-o, por favor..." and to another, "Gracias, Gringo!"

Me: "Um, Harold? Why are you calling those guys 'gringo?'"

Harold (knowingly): "Oh! That's what they call each other! It means 'friend' or 'buddy!'"

Me: "I think you're thinking of 'amigo.' 'Amigo' means 'friend.'"

Harold (skeptically): "I don't think so. If 'amigo' means 'friend,' then what does 'gringo' mean?"

Me: "'Gringo' means 'white person!'"

I still laugh when I think about that! I can just imagine those Latino dudes thinking (in Spanish), "Why is that white guy calling me 'white guy'?!!!!??"

My accent

2008-10-23T10:50:00.000-07:00

One of my oh-so-numerous Commenters asked me if I still had a southern accent, or if by living in California I'd lost it. Well, it's a weird (and hopefully not boring!) story.

I assume that I had a southern accent when I was younger: both of my parents, all of my grandparents, and even great-grandparents (and maybe even beyond) are from various parts of South Carolina. I think the reason why I don't have a Southern accent now is that I unconsciously, but ridiculously, mimic how people around me talk.

So, now that I live in California, I have what my grandmother calls a "twang." I say, "like", and "totally", and "gnarly" and "dude" and stuff like that all the time! When I speak of someone saying something, I often say, "He was like," or "She was all..." It's kind of embarrassing and another California lawyer friend recently said someone told her it made her sound uneducated. When she told me that, I was like, "no way, dudette!"

The year before I got married, I lived with a girl from England during my 3rd year of law school. I found myself quickly saying things like, "I cahhn't believe..." or "I put my bags in the boot of my car," or "I cahhn't wait to be on holiday!" or "When I was in Uni..." Also, I developed this English accent way of talking: you know, how they can something like, "Do you want to go to the store?" and it has this kind of lilt - the end of the sentence kind of goes up a little hill? You know what I mean? Anyway, I was doing it! All the time! These bizarre things naturally came out of my mouth - they were on the tip of my tongue! Yet, as soon as it came out of my mouth, I knew I sounded ridiculous. And people called me on it all the time. But, I meant it when I said I didn't do it on purpose! I was conscious of it, but couldn't help it.

I even speak broken English to people who speak broken English. And I do it loudly. And I use exaggerated hand gestures. I know, I know - not cool!

I remember one time my cousin Emily (who actually is my first cousin once removed because she's my dad's first cousin, and not mine - thank goodness) said to me, "You don't even sound like a Southerner! You sound like a Yankee!" She said this while I was in college....in Virginia! She kind of bothered me, so I think I said something like, "Well, if by 'like a Yankee' you mean 'like I went to school, use proper grammar, & wear shoes,' then you'd be right!"

I can be a big brat sometimes.

I Don't Know If You Know This About Me

2008-10-22T20:01:00.000-07:00

But, I'm kind of a big deal.

What I'm saying is: I'm famous. A famous blogger that is. Yeah, yeah, so I've never had more than 4 comments on any one post (including comments I myself have left). That doesn't matter.

Because....

Because.....

Because just today, I was mentioned by a famous blogger (& linked!).

So, here's the whole story: I visit this super-famous blog on a regular basis (let's just call it http://www.thepioneerwoman.com/), and a few months ago, she mentioned this other blogger (let's just call her Rechelle from http://www.countrydoctorswife.blogspot.com/). So, I started visiting Rechelle's blog based on The Pioneer Woman's recommendation. And so did a lot of other people. And now her blog is famous (although maybe not quite yet super-famous).

Then, TODAY, Rechelle (who also has a funny sister, let's just call her April from http://www.aprildphillips.blogspot.com/) enjoyed a comment I made, and mentioned it in a blog post! And linked to my blog!

In short what happened is that a super-famous blogger (PW) mentioned a now-famous blogger(CDW) who mentioned me! That makes me....

Um, that makes me....

Uh, uh....

Kinda famous!

So, since I'm famous & all, I'm sure you all want to know about the boring, everyday aspects of my life now. So, without further ado, I shall now present:

Southern Gal in So Cal's "STARS: They're Just Like US!"

First off, they are not very good photographers - let's just get that out there first.

Sometimes, they eat leftover meatloaf for dinner:

And sometimes they try to make it "fancy" by stuffing it into a bell pepper:

And finally,

Finally,

Sometimes, they do this:

Or this:

If this fame thing keeps up, I just might have to make a video like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpd24yVy5C4

Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner

2008-10-20T22:10:00.000-07:00

So, while we were on our vacation we spent 2 nights with some old friends in Arcata. They had just had their first baby - a boy - two and a half weeks before we came, so I got in lots of time holding Baby Braedon.

(Side note: look how big that onion is! It's bigger than Braedon's head! It was a 2 pound onion - crazy!)

And now I want a baby.

I know, I know, I know. We're not ready yet. We haven't even been married a whole year yet - 2 weeks until our anniversary! But, I want a baby the way I want a puppy, which is to say I want one, but I'm not in a place in my life where I can take care of one properly. It would be cruel for me to get a puppy because we would have to leave it alone for 8 to 9 hours at a time while we both work full-time. But I still want a puppy! And I want a baby I guess, because my unconscious mind has been screaming, "BABY! BABY! BABY!"

The proof:

On the first morning we woke up at our friend's house, I woke up sleepily early in the morning, and said, "If we had a baby I would put it in the bed and breastfeed it right now." My husband said, "huh?" but I was back asleep by then.

A little later the same morning (but still too early for us to be waking up on vacation!) my husband's phone rang, and as he was finding it to silence it, I sleepily asked, "Is that Baby?" He said, "No, that was not baby." And then I woke up and laughed at what a silly question that was.

I've been having dreams lately that I'm pregnant, giving birth, and even breastfeeding sometimes! And since nothing is more boring than hearing about someone else's dreams, I'll tell you!

One time recently I dreamed that I'd given birth and breastfed my baby, and I TOTALLY bonded with this dream baby. In the morning when I woke up, I was sad to not have my baby. I told my friend about it and she asked, "So, you want to have a baby?" I said, "Heck no! I don't want a baby, I'm not ready, but I want MY baby that I ALREADY had back!" In the latest dream - 2 nights ago - I gave birth to the baby all by myself. I was standing up, could feel it coming out, reached down, and "caught" my baby as it was born. Then I cut the cord, and played with my baby.

Weird, right?

Look at the Legs on This One!

2008-10-18T17:10:00.000-07:00

On our vacation, we spent 2 days winetasting in Sonoma County. It was AWESOME!

On the first day of winetasting we went to the Matanzas Creek winery, and enjoyed their lavender fields.

Then we went to the J Winery and enjoyed an event they were having where the paired their sparkling wines with food. These are the oysters. To take this picture I had to push my way through a bachelorette party, and for my efforts I decided I deserved an extra oyster. So I took it.

Then we went to Simi, La Crema, and Ferrari-Carano to round up that day.

The second day of winetasting (which was actually not the second day of our trip but rather the sixth), we went to Benziger and enjoyed a tour. Did you know they make biodynamic wines there? I can't even tell you what means exactly, you just have to trust me that it's a good thing.

Then we went to Buena Vista winery and Gundlach-Bundschu to round up that day.

Side note: I could go to 10 wineries a day - I do not tire of it. My husband, however, at the third winery of the day is usually wanting to be done with it. He assures me enjoys it - just for a shorter period of time.

Today's story comes from the Buena Vista Winery - the oldest winery in California actually. We were in the tasting room, and next to us was another couple. The tasting worked as follows: you pay a fee and get to taste about 8 wines. Most people taste the wines in the order in which they are printed on the sheet - starting with whites and ending with reds.

At Buena Vista, the couple next to us was kind of on the same schedule as us as far as the tasting went because we had started around the same time. We each had one more chardonnay to taste, and I heard the husband loudly ask his wife: DO YOU WANT TO MOVE ON TO THE PEENS NOW?

Yes he did! That's exactly what he said! My husband and I looked at each like, "Did you just HEAR that?" It was all we could do not to laugh!

I looked down on my sheet of paper and realized that when he said "PEEN" he meant pinot noir! Phew! That was good to know! And I swear, I know some people call pinot noirs "pinots" for short (which I think is silly because it could be confused with pinot gris/grigio, but what do I know), but this guy definitely said "PEEN!"

Of course, I couldn't resist. As soon as we tasted the pinot noir, I was saying loudly, "Mmmm, this is a delicious PEEN! Don't you like it honey? I really like the flavor profile of this PEEN!"

I Have Been Ashamed to Blog

2008-10-17T13:12:00.000-07:00

You know how when you are sooooo late sending a birthday card or a thank you note, and you start to think, "ok, now it's too late to send it. It would be more embarrassing to send it now than just to forget it," so you TRY to forget it, but you CAN'T??? You know what I'm talking about? Ok, so that's how I feel about my blog right now. I'm thinking about it, but I haven't blogged in so long it's ridiculous.

So, every day I think, "ooooh, I should post something on my blog!" Then I think, "No, it's been too long. Besides no one reads it anyway. Just forget about it." But, I still read my favorite blogs, & then I'm afraid to comment, because I don't want them coming to my blog and seeing that I haven't blogged since September 23rd! It's too embarrassing! So, then I keep my comments to myself. And that just doesn't work.

So, I've had a few excuses for not blogging - some good, and others obviously not so good.
Good excuses: 1.) Having my 80 year old grandmother from Ridgeland, SC visiting me in San Diego for 5 days, also 2.) Being out of town on vacay for 9 days.
Not so good excuses: 1.) embarrassment, also 2.) embarrassment.

Ok, so like those thank-you notes I STILL need to send, posting this will make me feel better once I do! Then it will be back to regular blogging.

Oh, & get ready for some stories about my grandmother's visit and my vacay!

National Bourbon Heritage Month

2008-09-23T11:03:00.001-07:00

So, I just found out that the U.S. Senate has declared September to be the National Bourbon Heritage Month! It's already the 23rd of the month, so I need to catch up!

Actually, I haven't had bourbon in quite awhile, but there was a time (one crazy summer on Hilton Head) where I drank "whiskey & diet coke" every time I went out to the bars. Want to know the difference between whiskey and bourbon? I looked it up and apparently, all bourbons are whiskey, but not all whiskeys (whiskies?) are bourbon. Bourbon, among other differences, has to be made in the USA. A lot are made in Kentucky. Oh, and Canadians spell it "whisky" while the Irish spell it "whiskey." The Irish spelling ("ey" - just like my name!) is preferred by most Americans, but Congress spells it the Canadian way ("y" only). Confused yet? I am!

Anyway, back in those days of going out to the bars and drinking whiskey with diet coke, I had a couple jobs. My day job was as a kayak guide/retail store worker/office worker, and my night job was waitress. I ended up in the office a lot that summer where I answered phone calls and booked kayak tours. For some reason, the morning after a night where I drank solely whiskey and diet coke, my voice was not in good shape. I was always bordering on being hoarse! So, my phone answering "Good morning!" was not as chipper sounding as I would have liked. I wasn't smoking - it was just from the whiskey! I remember my boss once asking me, "What are you doing? Going to the bar & screaming all night?" I thought that was hilarious. I could just picture his idea of me, at a bar, with a drink, going, "AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! HAAAAHAAAA!" all night! Yeah right!

Actually, now that I think about it, he may have been on to something. I'll have a whiskey and diet coke and think about it.

Bad Spa Day!

2008-09-22T14:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I had a bad experience on my 2nd spa visit! Massage cancelled! SO, I did what anyone would do - I wrote a complaint letter demanding a free massage! HA! This is actually my first real complaint letter. Here it is with names changed:

September 22, 2008

Re: Spa Complaint

Dear Mr. Manager (creative, huh?)

I had a bad experience at your spa and with your spa manager Mr. Spa (also – very inventive) over the weekend. I was scheduled for a 50-minute lomi lomi massage at 12:00, and I made the reservation about a month ago. I was meeting a few friends there as well – one had a 10 a.m. massage, and two others had 12:00 massages. When I arrived to check in at 11:30, Mr. Spa told me he had “bad news” and that my massage therapist had gotten in a car accident on the way to work that day. In addition to being surprised and concerned in the moment, I was told that I would not be getting a massage that day. I was asked if I wanted to reschedule for next week or any other time, and that the spa week rate would be honored. In the moment I was confused as to how to respond and just asked if there was any way I could be fit in with someone else since I was already there, and the answer was just a flat, “no.” I told Mr. Spa that I work during the week, and could not come in on a weekday. I will have family in town next weekend (9/27-9/28) and will be out of town the following two weekends in October. He gave me his card and said to contact him when I wanted to make my appointment. That was all he offered to do for me – just to reschedule.

I am upset this happened because it is obvious that to Mr. Spa my time is not worth what the Spa’s time is worth. No one from the spa called me ahead of time to let me know my appointment would be cancelled. Had I not shown up for my appointment, I would have been charged for the massage. In the reverse, however, when the Spa does not “show up” for my massage, I am only offered the opportunity to reschedule. I was offered nothing else for my time and inconvenience.

I told Mr. Spa that I was meeting friends in the spa, and asked if I could still use the facilities. He seemed surprised that I was meeting people inside, and allowed me to use the facilities. I ended up staying at the spa for a couple hours. While I was there it was obvious that the spa was very busy (probably because of the spa week special), and it became clear to me that the spa was overbooked. At about 11:40 a.m., I spoke with another woman in the spa right after I got in who was scheduled for an 11:00 massage, and she was told hers was cancelled too. She was told her massage therapist was “missing” or “lost.” I ran into her later (a little after 1:00) and she said that she received a massage at noon, and she was told the spa could “fit her in” then – the same time I was supposed to receive my massage. Additionally, two of my friends arrived right at noon for their 12:00 massages, and they received them.

I left the spa with a friend around 2:30, and asked to speak to the spa manager before leaving. Mr. Spa came outside the spa to speak with me, and still only offered to reschedule my appointment at the same rate. I said that I had family members coming in town this weekend, and asked if I could make appointments for them at the same rate as well, and he only said, “I can’t do that.”

I asked why I had not received a phone call to let me know my massage was cancelled and that I would not have made the trip all the way down to Coronado had I known my massage was cancelled. He said he found out about the “car accident” right before I walked in. He also offered as an excuse that a lot of people don’t answer their phones over the weekend. This was a ludicrous comment. I question whether there even was a car accident. I believe the spa was simply overbooked. In any event, I certainly don’t believe that Mr. Spa found out about the car accident just the moment before I walked in. And I certainly am not one of those people “who don’t answer their phones on the weekends.” I’ve never heard of a more ridiculous excuse for not making a phone call.

I asked Mr. Spa about the woman I met in the spa who was scheduled for an 11:00 massage and was “fit in” at noon, and he only said that he didn’t know anything about that. That was the only explanation offered – that he didn’t know about what had happened with the other woman’s massage appointment. I stated that I felt maybe the other woman received “my” massage, through no fault of her own. Mr. Spa only assured me that was not the case. I pointed out to Mr. Spa that when a flight is overbooked and someone has to give up their seat and be on a later flight, the airline not only reschedules but also gives that person a free flight. Mr. Spa only stated that while it may work that way in the airline industry, it does not work that way at the Spa. I asked, “So you are only willing to reschedule my appointment, and that’s it?” He said that was it.

I asked him if two guests of mine could use the spa facilities while I receive my massage, and he relented to allow me that as long as it was not on a Saturday. When we went inside for me to make my appointment, and were in front of other employees and Spa customers, Mr. Spa became a lot more pleasant. Mr. Spa asked me if I wanted a different treatment, and after looking at the brochure I asked if I could get a hot stone massage instead of a lomi lomi massage, and he said that was fine. Additionally he asked me if I wanted an 80 minute massage, and at first I said the 50 minute one would be fine. He asked me if I was sure and said the 80 minute massage would be at the same rate, so I agreed and scheduled an 80 minute hot stone massage for next Sunday.

I am upset that the exchange between Mr. Spa and me was so unpleasant right up until the end. I know the Spa was ranked in the “Top 20 Hotel Spas” by Travel & Leisure recently, but my experience was an unhappy one. Additionally, I know the Hotel prides itself on its guest services and I am surprised that I had to “push” Mr. Spa to try to receive anything for my inconvenience and treatment other than a simple re-schedule. Had I been greeted with the news of the cancellation more pleasantly, and had Mr. Spa said at the very beginning, “We’re very sorry. We’re willing to give you an 80 minute treatment of your choice for the same rate,” I would not be writing this letter today. Instead the experience was very unpleasant and Mr. Spa was not willing to recognize or take responsibility for my inconvenience and disappointment at all until the very end.

I know the Hotel felt effects from the bad press its restaurants received regarding their health and safety in the Union Tribune within the last year, and I am hoping the hotel will quickly want to make things right with me in terms of an appropriate compensation in exchange for my time and inconvenience on Saturday. I think an appropriate resolution would be for me to be able to return on Sunday September 28th with one guest: I would like to receive the massage I am scheduled for at the Spa Week rate, and for my guest to receive a “comped” massage. Feel free to contact me regarding resolution of this matter at the number above or on my personal cell phone at ________. I would feel more comfortable discussing this situation with a hotel manager rather than Mr. Spa.

Sincerely,

MY NAME, ESQ.

Spa Night

2008-09-18T22:25:00.000-07:00

So, I went to the spa tonight & got a facial.

hahaha! I love just writing that all casual - like it's just as normal as, "so, I went to the gym & then stopped by the grocery store for some wine." Although that never happens to me either.

Actually this was my 2nd spa trip, but the 1st doesn't count because it was on my wedding day, & although my hot stone massage was ooohhhhhh-sooooooo-relaxing..... I still had other things on my mind that day (like, "how much is too much to drink when you're the bride?" and "will I be able to suck in my stomach for that long?").

But, tonight. Oh glorious tonight. It was wonderful.

It's "Spa Week" here in San Diego which means that treatments that normally run between $100 and $200 are only $50! So, I got there 2 hours early (not kidding, I don't even get to the airport that early), so I could use the "facilities." And by "facilities" I mean the outside/bayside gym (for only 30 minutes on the elliptical though - puhleeze, this is supposed to be relaxing), the fanciest shower I've ever been in, the steam room, the whirlpool, the relaxation room, & of course a glass of champagne.

Then came the 45 minute facial. It was AWESOME! First, steam is blowing in your face. Then they rub all kinds of stuff on your face. And at first I was like, "whoa, this is weird having someone else's hands all over your face. Even my husband doesn't touch my face this much. And you know what? Face touching is pretty intimate. I think I would be more comfortable with her rubbing my legs.... or even my chest.....weird." But, once I got over that, it felt SO GOOD. Ahhhhhh, bliss.

Ok, what was I saying? I just dozed off while remembering about my facial. Oh yeah, facial - that's what I was talking about! It was great. And I can't wait for my hour-long "Spa Week" massage at the Hotel Del Coronado Spa on Saturday - oh yeah, I'm big pimpin' spending G's (for the longest time, I thought the lyrics were "spending cheese," & that "cheese" was gangsta lingo for $$$. Oh yeah, I am sooooooo black).

Cleaning out my Inbox

2008-09-12T15:51:00.000-07:00

Ok, so usually when I get a text message, I delete. Sometimes I don't delete one on purpose because I want to "save" it, & other times I just simply forget. Here's a sampling of old text messages I found today while cleaning out my inbox:

1. "Lol!!! O my god." From Marti. Received Saturday, March 15, 2008, 3:09 p.m.
Explanation: I had just sent a mass text that I had a new phone number because I dropped my old phone in a toilet.......in a bar......after I had already peed......and while I was talking to my husband.

2. "Happy easter. love dad." From Dad Gene. Received (when else?) Sunday, March 23, 2008, 10:49 a.m.
Explanation: Celebration of the ressurrection of Christ is deserving of a text message to your firstborn child.....who you never call.

3. "Going to the shout house (a dueling piano bar) downtown tonight for my birthday. Let me know if you want to join us." From Sarah. Received Saturday, April 19, 2008, 10:39 a.m.
Explanation: I was out of town that weekend. Dammit! I hate missing fun stuff!

4. "Call me when your out of work. Love you" From Blair (sister). Received Wednesday, April 23, 2008, 2:31 p.m.
Explanation: I was at work! 'Nuf said.

5. "Awesome!" From Cori. Received Friday, April 25, 2008, 11:25 a.m.
Explanation: I had just sent a mass text message that the hubby's kidney removal surgery went well. Yeah, he donated his kidney to his mom. A very not fun 3 weeks followed.

Erm, maybe I should just adopt a policy of deleting all text messages as they come in!

September 11th

2008-09-11T12:47:00.000-07:00

Whoa - I put up that last post about seeing the window cleaner before I realized that today is September 11th, as in SEPTEMBER 11TH.

I can't imagine looking out that window on the 14th floor and seeing a passenger jet coming at me, instead of a harmless window cleaner.

Happy Hour Sue (at http://www.happymealsandhappyhour.blogspot.com/) put up a great tribute to September 11th on her blog, and posed the question, "Do you remember where you were on 9/11?"

Well, I certainly remember where I was. I was 21 years old, and spending a miserable semester living with my parents in Myrtle Beach after spending all my money travelling and living in Southeast Asia and enjoying summer fun on Hilton Head. I was broke, needed to be in college, and unable to yet transfer to the University of Hawaii (where I ended up later). My parents had just moved to Myrtle Beach, and I certainly did not grow up there or want to be there. I knew no one there, and was not interested in meeting any friends because I just wanted to save money and get out. I was waiting tables at a fancy seafood restaurant in Murrell's Inlet and taking as many marine science classes at Coastal Carolina University as I could in one semester. I thought I was going to be a marine biologist - oh, hahaha, hee hee he he, hoooo, hooo, haaaaaa!

Anyway, that morning I woke up in the house my parents were renting while househunting. I woke up before everyone else because I had an early class. I got on the computer at home, as I always did, and couldn't get onto msn, cnn, etc. It was a dial-up connection, so I did not think too much of it. Then, after the cnn page loaded forever, I saw the headline about a plane hitting the World Trade Center tower. I didn't realize how big a deal it was. I didn't know it was a passenger plane, I thought maybe it was a private plane. And when I thought of terrorism I thought of the bomb that had gone off some time before in the garage at the WTC. Basically, I did not know it was any big deal.

On the way to class, I was listening to the radio and that was when I heard about the second plane hitting the WTC. That was when I realized it was a passenger plane. I still just thought it was a crazy accident. I could not fathom what was really going on. So, I went to class that morning and everyone was abuzz about what was going on. I was mainly confused. After that first class, the school announced that the rest of classes that day would be optional attendance. I had a marine lab (4 hour class - ugh) scheduled that afternoon, and since I had already missed so many, I figured I should go. I still had not processed what had happened and what was going on at the time.

For lab that day we piled into a University bus and drove about 45 minutes away to an undeveloped barrier island that the University had a marine lab on. The radio was on the whole way, and less than half the students attended. By then we knew a major terrorist attack had occurred, and all I wanted to do was get out of the van and be with my family. I was so thankful that they had just the month before moved back to the U.S. from Indonesia, the world's largest Muslim country.

When we got to the island, we piled out of the van and just wandered around the beach aimlessly. We were supposed to be collecting samples or something, but most everyone was lost in their own thoughts walking up and down the beach. I separated myself from the group and noticed how beautiful and calm the beach was there. The island was totally isolated, the water looked so calm, driftwood was scattered all over. It was so serene that I could hardly believe what was going on in New York. I remember thinking to myself of what I would say to the terrorists that day, "You do not frighten me. You have not changed me. I'm here in this beautiful place. You may have ruined a lot for a lot of people today, but you didn't ruin everything for everyone."

But sadly, the truth is they changed something for everyone. In the days and weeks after September 11, 2001, we all felt the change. We all knew it had happened, and could happen again.

That night I went to work at the restaurant at 4:30 that afternoon, and before we opened, all the servers were gathered around rolling silverware and of course talking about what had happened that day. One waitress was confused: "What? Did something happen today?" I could not believe it - she had slept in that day, didn't watch t.v. or turn on the radio, listened to a C.D. on the way to work, and was totally clueless as to what had occurred.

I wish we could all go back to that time - a time when we were totally clueless as to what could happen.

Heart Attack Near Miss!

2008-09-11T09:30:00.000-07:00

I apologize in advance of this post - the only photos of my office building were ones I found online, and I wasn't about to go traipsing into the law firm I work at with a camera and start taking pictures of my office.....if I did that the secretaries would all look at me strange as I passed by - I mean more strange than they already do. But, that's another story.

Back to the story at hand: "Go on with the chlorophyll!" (Name that movie!)

Oh yes, lots of drama 'round these parts. Not really, but I did nearly have a heart attack at work the other day.

I was sitting in my office, as I tend to do ALL DAY LONG most days.

I was typing feverishly on a motion. And by "motion" I mean "personal e-mail," when all of a sudden, I heard something behind me - yes, behind me!

I turned,

and saw...........

a...........

a..........

MAN LOOKING IN THE WINDOW AT ME!

I said, and I quote, "AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! OH MY GAWD!"

You see, I work on the 14th Floor, and I'm understandably not used to anyone being right outside my window looking in.

And what did this man, this Peeping Tom if you will, do? What did he do in response?

He,

He........

Um, I can hardly say it......

He.....

He smiled and waved and continued washing the window. And after a minute or so, he was gone. Phew, another heart attack averted. I don't know how much more surprise this 28 year-old heart can take.

Oh, and P.S. - I am loooooving using Google Images right now! I was looking up some images to put on this blog post, and when I google imaged "peeping tom" and "window cleaner," this is what came up:

I kid you not! I am not lying when I say there is a business called Peeping Tom's Window Cleaning! What's next? Steal Your Crap In-Home Cleaning Service? Rip You Off Mechanic?

Chili Cookoff!

2008-09-10T09:32:00.000-07:00

Every year (this being the 2nd), our friends host a chili cookoff the day of the first Chargers game of the season. Everyone brings their chili, everyone tries everyone's chili, and we vote on the best chili as well as the most creative chili.

And of course, we watch the game. I am using the term "we" very, very loosely, because I don't actually watch the game. Everyone else watches the game and gets really into it. What I do is sit quietly (no small feat) and read magazines. When I get bored of that I lay out by the pool.

But that's beside the point. The POINT is that we had a chili cookoff, and after last year's dismal attempt, I was determined to win this year!

Here are the contenders:

Number 1: From Newlyweds Matt & Nicole:

Number 2: From James, the architect:

Number 3: from Yours Truly:

And # 4: The Great White Hope:
There were actually 2 others, but they came after I'd taken these pictures. I was already on my 2nd margarita and I couldn't figure out how to work my camera to take pictures of the last 2 contenders. I blame it on the camera, or the margaritas, or the rain.....basically anything other than me. It's a sign of my maturity. The other 2 don't matter really though, because neither of them won and neither of them was mine. You see what's important to me, right?

Anyway, my effort last year was dismal. It wasn't necessarily bad, it just wasn't really good. My beef crumbling efforts were so bad. Everyone else had nicely crumbled meat in their chili - I had burger chunks. Oops. I followed a really plain Paula Dean recipe (the basic beans, beef, & seasonings), but she didn't mention how hard you have to work to make the beef really crumbly while you brown it.

But, this year, was different! I had a new recipe which included ground beef AND Italian sausage as well as minced chipotle chilies in adobo sauce and the Secret Southern Ingredient (SSI) - BACON GREASE! I was up on my meat crumbling skills, and I brought my "A" game. I didn't want the "most creative" award - I figured, I could put an old shoe in the chili and be the most creative. No sir, I wanted the best chili award!

And the winner was.......

Drumroll please.......

Not me. It was #2 - James' chili won! For the 2nd year in a row! I chalk it up to the secret ingredients he obtained when his chili fell on the front seat of his truck on the way over. He scooped it back in with his hand (I'm guessing) and a cheeto or something must have gotten in and made it the winner.

I'm usually a pretty good loser (I'm used to it), but I really wanted to win this, gosh dangit! Why is it that I'm so competitive over the dumb stuff (e.g., chili cookoffs, board games), but not the more important stuff (e.g., grades, billable hours). Oh sure, I'm good enough at the more important things, I just don't get all, "ooooh, I want to beat everyone else and WIN!"

Oh well, at least my husband said my chili was the best! And he doesn't just say things to make me feel better - he really thought it was the best! Good thing, because we have A LOT of leftovers!

Dogsitting Services Offered

2008-09-09T08:59:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago we dogsat for some friends while they were away. It was almost like a mini-vacation. We swam in their pool, we played with their Wii, we watched their HBO, we played their ladderball game, and one night we cooked this:

It's a Rachel Ray recipe for Sea Scallops with Vermouth, and it was delicious!

Full disclosure: I halved the recipe. It was just the husband & me, & we didn't need it all. Ok, ok, actually if I had halved the recipe there would be 8 scallops, and I only made 6, ok? ok? Those things were huge though, & we were making surf and turf that night, so we also had steaks. It was feast of embarrassing proportions. Now you know the whole story. The full recipe (from the book) is posted below:

Ingredients:
3 tablespoons evoo (you know what it is!)
1 shallot, chopped
2 cans (14 oz.) quartered artichoke hearts in water, drained
salt & freshly ground pepper, to taste
a handful chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
2 tablespoons capers, drained
16 sea scallops, drained and trimmed (we only made 6, but I think 4 per person would be plenty for an entree)
1/2 cup dry vermouth

Directions:
Heat large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add about 2 tbsp. evoo, then chopped shallots to pan. Cook a minute or so, add artichoke hearts & toss to heat through. Season with salt and pepper & combine with parsley and capers. Transfer to a serving dish:

Okey dokey artichokey? I just had to get that in! Ok, we're not done yet!

Next, wipe out the pan and return it to the stove, raising the heat a bit. Season scallops with salt and pepper. Add one turn of evoo to the very hot pan and immediately place the scallops in the pan.

Sear the scallops in a single layer, causing them to caramelize, 2 minutes on each side.

Add vermouth and cook out the alcohol, 1 to 2 minutes. Arrange over top of the artichokes and serve.

It was so good, and pretty healthy too! Definitely a good healthy choice for a special dinner.

Ok, so we cooked the scallops, we swam in the pool, we laid out, we played the Wii, we watched HBO, we played ladder ball..... I'm trying to think - did we do anything else while we were dogsitting?

Anything?

Bueller?

Oh yeah, we watched the dogs! And we loved it!

The Bucket List

2008-09-08T18:27:00.001-07:00

Last week it dawned on me that the summer was officially coming to a close! I made a list of all the San Diego Summer activities I still wanted to do before it got too cold, and we accomplished a couple over the weekend.

Before this past weekend, the husband had fished all four of the previous weekends. So when his fishing buddy called him last week asking about the weekend, the husband told him he was taking a "mandatory weekend off" from fishing! Whoo hoo! Alert the media!

First on the list was taking the ferry from downtown to Coronado island for dinner one night, and we did it on Friday! I met some colleagues at a bar downtown for happy hour, and then met up with the husband in time for us to catch the 8:00 ferry. We walked around the village at Coronado a little bit and then had a delicious dinner at an Italian restaurant overlooking the downtown skyline. The ferry rides there and back were so scenic and romantic! Cross one off the bucket list!

Next up was snorkeling with the leopard sharks in La Jolla! On Saturday we got ready for the beach and headed up to La Jolla Shores for my yearly foray into the Pacific. Growing up, I was always in the ocean at the beach on Hilton Head, but the ocean here is usually too cold and I usually end up dipping my toes in before running back to my towel! But, the leopard sharks were not to be missed. They're totally harmless, but they're still sharks. The first one we spotted was at least 5 feet long, just a shadow swimming right below us! Scary! Then we got into it and realized that if we dove down (dived down?) and looked around, we could see 2 or 3 sharks at all times! I saw a shovelnose shark too - it has the head of a sting ray, but the body of a shark - crazy! After snorkeling and laying out for awhile, we walked into town for a yummy lunch.

We split this delicious smoked salmon pizza!

And I had this delicious berry mint mojito!

I'm glad the price wasn't listed on the menu before I ordered it, because if it was, I never would've gotten it. It was D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S! Then we went back to the beach for a while and then walked over to the La Jolla Beach and Tennis Club (chi chi!) and met a friend who has a membership for a little bit before heading home. A perfect beach day! Cross two off the bucket list!

And don't worry, the husband already has plans for fishing next weekend!

I look like a boy

2008-09-04T21:35:00.001-07:00

No, it's true - I totally do look like a boy! This was pointed out to me when I was very young....

(Cue flashback music & blurry screen)

In the mid '80's my mom took my sister Blair and I to a seafood festival on Daufuskie Island. While we were there, we somehow lost my mom. So, what do we do? We find a kind police officer and tell him our plight. Blair was crying as I explained to the officer that we couldn't find our mommy. He knelt down on Blair's level, and told her, "There there, don't cry little girl. I'm going to find your mother. Just stay here with your older BROTHER, and HE will watch over you while I find your mommy."

Of course, the fact that my mom gave my sister & I bowl cuts didn't help. Hers made her look like a cute little pixie. I looked like a scraggly little boy.

Throughout my life, little things have reminded me that I look like a boy. I was most recently reminded this past weekend. I went to a bachelorette party for a friend, and at the end of it (as tends to happen) we ended up at a dive bar.

Of course some guys were chatting up our group while we were there....honestly, wouldn't you?! As we left the bar I was arm-in-arm with the bride to be. One of the guys we were chatting with said to another lady in the group as we walked out, "Wow! I feel like an idiot! I had no idea this bachelorette party was for a homosexual wedding!"

Um, what? WHAT?!

He knew the one in the yellow DRESS was the bride-to-be. I was walking arm-in-arm with her in a (totally unplanned!) matching yellow shirt and PANTS. She had her hair DOWN, mine was UP. Obviously, I was the groom! Oh yeah, and it probably didn't help that I look like a BOY! I do!

Of course, it also probably didn't help that when the guy was questioning the bride-to-be, unbeknownst to me, she said, "I'm a lesbian."

Sauteed Brains

2008-09-03T22:05:00.001-07:00

Just kidding! It's chicken soft tacos!

They were so good & so easy, I just had to share!

On nights when my brainiac husband has school or is working on his thesis, I like to make easy dinners. The crockpot is perfect for those nights I want to go to the gym, run errands, or just relax after work and not worry about slaving away in the kitchen. These chicken soft tacos are delicious and fit the bill for convenience and ease!

Ingredients: 1 - 1 1/2 pounds frozen chicken breasts (how easy is that?), 1 small can diced tomatoes with chilis, and 1 envelope taco seasoning.

Directions: Place chicken breasts in bottom of crockpot, mix together tomatoes (undrained) and taco seasoning. Pour tomato mixture over chicken. Crock on low for 8-9 hours.

It's healthy too! I put mine on a whole wheat tortilla, and the husband uses plain flour tortillas. I like to chop lettuce, tomato, avocado and onion, and set out sour cream, salsa, and shredded cheese. That way I can make a side mexican salad on my plate if I want. There's enough leftovers for us to each have lunch the next day too!

Watch out - the tomatoes with chilis can get spicy. I used medium spiciness, but we like spicy stuff around here.

Enjoy!

2008-08-17T12:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Freshman Move-In Day for my little brother, Rhett. Yup, he's off to college!

I can't believe it's been 10 (eek!) years since my own Freshman Move-In Day. How can my little brother, Rhettman be doing this already?!

Why, it seems like just yesterday we were dressing him up in little girl clothes & putting my hairbows on top of his head. Um, no, that's a little embarrassing - let's try that again.

Ahem. Why, it seems like just yesterday mom asked him to stop by the store to pick up Nilla Wafers so she could make banana pudding, and Rhett came home with plain waffles and an apology that the store was out of "vanilla waffles." Um, wait, no, that was yesterday...

Ok, one more time - here we go: It seems like just yesterday, a few days after my own Freshman Move-In Day, Rhett sent me this in the mail -

It says, and I quote,

Dear Shelly,

When I left you made me cry for thirty-six minuts and it made me feel sad I miss you a lot

Love Rhett

Nevermind that he misspelled a couple things (including my name), this was such a sweet letter!

Rhett accompanied my parents and I to my own Freshman Move-In Day 10 years ago. After I was all moved in, and it was time for them to drive away, Rhett cried and cried and hugged me and wouldn't let go! Apparently he continued to cry in the van for thirty six minutes (as he noted) until my mom had the idea that he could write me a letter, and the letter above is what he wrote in the van that day.

Why, you may ask, was Rhett so upset to leave me at college? We were buddies back then. When I got my drivers license in high school I would take him places with me. He was the third-born, and I was the first, so when he fought with my sister, the second-born, I always had his back. That was partly because I was always fighting with her too. But, the real reason he was so upset to leave me at college???

He thought I was never coming home again, and that he would never see me again.

Why, you may ask, would he think such a thing?

I may have sorta, accidentally, kinda led him to believe this during my last year living at home.

It would go like this:

Me: "Rhett, will you go get me a coke out of the fridge while I lay here getting a suntan on the back porch?"

Rhett: "No. Get it yourself."

Me: "Rhett. Please, please, please!"

Rhett: "No. You can get it yourself."

Me: "You know Rhett, next year I'm going to college, and that means I won't live here anymore, and we won't get to spend any time together. You're really going to miss me, and wish you had gotten me that coke."

Rhett: "Ok, I'll get it."

Exchanges like this happened a lot during that last year. It was a very effective way for me to get Rhett to get something out of the car for me, turn off my light if I left it on, etc. But, before you castigate me, I must say in my defense, I didn't know that he thought that meant he wasn't ever going to see me again!

I'm excited Rhett's having his own Freshman Move-In Day experience, and I hope leaving him at college doesn't make Hayden or Emma (the siblings younger than Rhett who accompanied him to Freshman Move-In Day) cry for 36 minutes.

And he's still my little brother!

How to Save Money on Groceries

2008-08-12T21:30:00.001-07:00

No Coupons Required!

First: Make sure your husband has a kayak (check)

Second: Make sure your husband takes said kayak out on a Sunday morning at 4:30 a.m. while you sleep.

Third: Make sure he catches some fish - in this case, bonito.

Fourth: Make sure he cleans the fish on the porch while you stand about five feet away watching and saying things like, "ewwwww, it smells!" and "What's that thing you're taking out of the fish?" (Answer: its intestine or its eggs or something like that)

Fifth: Ask your husband to please fillet the fish while you take pictures of him doing it. If he says you're being ridiculous, just agree with him.

Ok, now we have the fish! Yea! Price of the fish: ZERO dollars (other than the kayak and some other insignificant odds and ends.) Protein - usually the most expensive part of the meal for FREE! Yippee!

Here's how we made it tonight:

My tough husband - the one who wrests dinner for us from the sea - sprinkled kosher salt and fresh ground pepper on the fish fillets. I pulled out some squares of tin foil (about a foot square each). I sprayed each foil square with cooking spray. Then, I placed a small pat (about a teaspoon) of butter in the middle of each square. After that I put some minced garlic in the middle of each square. Behold:

And, ok, I didn't use fresh garlic. I used the pre-minced stuff. But, but, but - it's the same thing! Or maybe I just don't have a refined enough palette. Anyway, after this step, my tough husband - the fish whisperer - placed the fish fillets over each pat of butter and garlic spot on the squares of tinfoil. He did it for 2 reasons: 1) he caught the fish and likes to be in charge of it, and 2) I'm kind of sissy when it comes to touching raw fish - except for sushi or sashimi of course, and I realize that makes no sense.

After that I took some ORGANIC rosemary sprigs out of the fridge, and minced only the leaves of one of them, because I was a scaredy cat and I was afraid that with more than one, it would overpower the fish.

Then I sprinkled said fresh rosemary over the fish, added some fresh lemon juice (fresh from the lemon-shaped squeeze bottle that is), and a sprinkling of some grated parmesan cheese. Then I placed one more small pat of butter in the middle of each. Behold:

Then I wrapped up each package into a square. After that, I posed the packages on the counter in front of the lemon juice squeeze bottle and parmesan cheese (and yes, that is 100% real parmesan - no fillers - it says so right on the green can). Behold:

Then I placed the fish packets on the grill - oops! I forgot to tell you: my tough husband turned the grill on a little while ago. Ok, now that we're all caught up...

After putting the packets on the grill, I noted the time and left my tough husband on the porch while I took a phone call. Exactly 11 minutes later I went out to ask the fish whisperer, "have you flipped the fish? Do we need to flip it? It's been over 10 minutes." To which he replied, "No, it's been only four minutes." I said, "no, I looked at the clock when I put them on, and it was 8:20. Now it is 8:31." He didn't believe me. I said, "I noted the time, and you didn't!" He just looked at me like maybe I'd just stepped out of the DeLorean with Doc. So, I looked at my phone and said, "I got this phone call after I put the fish on, and it lasted 8 minutes, and I hung up a few minutes ago!" He still refused to believe me, and I went inside to handle the green beans.

Then I went back outside and convinced him to take the fish off the grill. When he brought it inside, we opened up the packets, and they looked like this:

Perfectly cooked! I put each packet's fish on a plate, and dripped the juice from the foil (buttery, garlicky goodness) back over the fish, and served it with corn and green beans. It was delish!