The Rest of the Story

Ok, so, where were we?

Oh yes, rounding up the last 4 months.

After our Disney World family vacation (yes, my husband is a saint, thanks for asking), we came back to Santa Barbara. We haven't stuck around too much though.

We went camping with some friends - old & new - at San Onofre, a lonely stretch of coast between San Diego & Orange Counties



Guess what happened at the campsite? We found Tupac!



That's my friend Sarah - she's sitting in Tupac's lap. It's kind of ridiculous how hilarious & how much enjoyment 4 grown women & several grown men got out of taking turns taking pictures with Tupac!
"Here - pull the towel down! Now it looks like you're sitting in his lap!" *Snap*
"Wait a minute - put your hand on his chest!" *Snap*
"Hang on - let's all get in the picture together!" *Snap*

Yes, we are easily amused.


Look! I'm a surfer!



Not really...

Ok, do you want to know a crazy "It's a Small World" story?? No? Too bad! It's my blog!

Ok, so this one guy we met on the camping trip (remember I said it was old friends AND new), was a school psychologist for the San Diego school district, & I used to be a legal intern at the district, & we know the same people!

Ok, that's not actually THAT crazy of a story, considering we were camping with a bunch of people who live in San Diego.

Here's where it gets crazy: I come home, upload camping photos onto facebook, & realize I'm not facebook "friends" with the psychologist, so I "friend" him once someone else tags him (If you don't speak facebook, just go with the flow & pretend this makes sense). Ok. After I request to be his friend on facebook, I see we have not one, but TWO mutual facebook friends. Guess who the other one is! A FRIEND OF MINE FROM MY HOMETOWN - HILTON HEAD ISLAND, SC. Where does this hometown friend live? COLORADO! Crazy, right?!?!?!!!

Goosebumps!

Still not done updating, but hopefully soon!

Soooo....you may have noticed (if I have any readers) that I haven't posted in awhile. What can I say? I've been busy (a.k.a. lazy).

So, what have I been up to since June 19th? Well, I didn't make it through all those potatoes, I'm sad to say, but I did make it through almost all!

So, we went to a summer solstice parade & celebration:



We spent 4th of July weekend with some awesome couples up at my in-laws house at Lake Arrowhead:




We went to Chicago for a wedding of some dear friends we met in San Diego, but live in Chicago now. It was at The Drake Hotel, was one of the most beautiful (& fun!) weddings I've ever been to, & provided an awesome opportunity for us to see the city too!





I had a Girls' Weekend in Santa Barbara - 3 wives/girlfriends came to see me while the men were camping. We went winetasting, & partied it up at Santa Barbara's annual Fiesta celebration. I have no pics, b/c they're incriminating. Actually, that's not true, I have no pics, b/c Chris had the camera that weekend :)

We went to Florida for a family vacation in Disney World!


Did I tell you I had a sister w/Down Syndrome? Well, the cat's out of the bag now...
Guess there's one more thing PW & I have in common - siblings w/developmental disabilities! We're practically the same person.



Except that my sister is the cutest person alive! It's true - It's science.

That's my new thing to say now which totally irritates my husband to death: "It's science." It probably bothers him so much b/c he actually IS a scientist, & I say it in regards to things which are completely unrelated to science, in order to bolster my argument. For example, Me: "I like to keep the coffee stirrer thingie in the mouthpiece while I transport my coffee b/c it keeps the coffee from spilling up through the mouthpiece."
Him: [quizzical look]
Me: "It's true - it's science."



So, we went to Disney World with.....wait for it.....wait for it.... my parents, my 4 siblings, & us! Only 8 people - that's it! That sounds like a reasonable plan, right? Right?

So, this picture down here is the only group shot we have of everyone (dumb, I know), but let's just talk about what's going on here (after you have a chance to gaze in wonder, of course)...



Done gazing in wonder? Ok, so I look a) pregnant?, b) woof!!, or c) both? Ding, ding, ding, the answer's "c"!! My sister, Emma, is making a face at Chris - which is about how she spent half the vacation (see above photo for further proof). My sister, Blair, is wearing what now appears to be a see-through shirt (sorry, Blair!) b/c she's a skank? My brother, Hayden, is looking at the camera like he's going to jump it - b/c he's a gangsta? And my dad is wearing a t-shirt with a picture of Jesus on the cross - b/c that's how we roll!

So....what else have I been up to?

That's going to have to wait for the next post! At least now we're caught up through mid-September!

Potato Rats

I just bought a 10 pound bag of potatoes for $1.99!! That's like 20 cents a pound! About 10 cents for each large potato! And that's ALL I bought - seriously - I saw the ad & went in & only bought the potatoes. I even paid cash (never happens anymore b/c I usually never have cash). We've been having trouble (self-imposed) living according to our budget lately & too many times we've been dipping into our down payment money. So, guess what's for dinner??

Speaking of potatoes, did I ever tell you about the dead rat in our last house in San Diego?

We lived in this bright, gorgeous, tiny (like less 850 square feet tiny) cottage. And over the course of a few days last year, I noticed a "dead" smell getting worse & worse in the kitchen. The smell was centered on a certain set of drawers & a floor vent was nearby. I just KNEW the smell was a dead rat because at an old office I used to work at, we once had a dead rat in the WALL - so I felt familiar with the smell.

I was able to focus on where the smell was by opening the drawers, sniffing, & then closing them. The smell was obviously coming from BEHIND the bottom drawer. So, I of course knew the rat was somehow in the cabinetry behind the bottom drawer. OR it was in the floor vent (there was a suspicious looking possible dead rat/ possible dust bunny that we could spot down there with a flashlight).

So once I located the smell & determined that it was, in fact, a dead rat, I walked next door to my landlord's house (he was pretty handy) & said, "I know this sounds crazy, but there is a dead rat in our house, & I'm not sure I've even seen it, I've seen no rat droppings, but I've smelled the dead rat, & could you please come get inside the cabinetry & get it out for me?"

He said, "Sure - I once had a dead mouse over here, so it's possible." (Note: I'm no zoologist, but an unwanted rodent in my home will always be called a "rat" & never a "mouse.") The landlord then followed me back home with some tools to take the drawer out of the cabinetry to get at the dead rat behind it.

While he was doing that I was lingering around - identifying the smell & doing other important things. Once the drawer was out the landlord said, "Nope - no dead mouse in here." So then I started to walk over to the vent & point at the suspicious furball down there. When all of a sudden! I looked at the bag of potatoes in the hanging basket between the drawers & the floor vent, picked it up, and......found that the smell was rotten potatoes!!!

I didn't think potatoes GOT rotten! I thought they just got old & shriveled & green & grew eyes, but I didn't they'd really rot! But, that's what the smell was! I was so embarrassed, but the landlord just laughed good-naturedly. I took the bag outside & put it in the garbage can.

And that bag of potatoes? It was only the last of a 5 pound bag. And now I have a 10 pound bag - so we better hurry up & eat them!

Domestic Goddess? Or Domestic Theologian?

My husband got up this morning at 3:30 A.M. to go FISHING today! Never mind that the man can hardly get up at 7:30 to go to work - apparently, it is no problem to get up at 3:30 to go fishing! Obviously, I need a hobby too. Does sleeping in, going to Zumba class, walking around downtown, going to the farmers market, & cruising around Borders count? Because that's what I did today that was enjoyable.





What did I do today that was not enjoyable? Housecleaning. Why did I do such a thing? Because apparently it is not acceptable to live in squalor. So, housecleaning is what I did (I say "did," but the kitchen isn't quite spotless yet!)





I hate housecleaning, & as much as I want to be a housewife - it's really more about the idea of not working than keeping up the house. I should have failed home economics in the 6th grade. I went to public school up through 6th grade, & 6th grade was the year I went to the brand spanking new middle school in town - prior to that, students were bussed to the next town over for middle school - no lie!





One part of the class involved making biscuits from scratch. We made them in class, we worked in teams & followed the recipe, & they were pretty good. Then one Saturday I had the bright idea of making them at home with the neighbor girl. She was a few years younger than me, & really she was my sister's friend. But my sister's friends in the neighborhood thought I knew what I was talking about because I was older, so they generally went along with whatever I wanted...whenever I deigned to allow them to be around me of course - which was only when I had no one else to play with of course. So, I swore up & down to the neighbor girl that I remembered EXACTLY how to make the biscuits! We made them, & we packed them up & took them to her house & made her mom eat one. Guess what I forgot to put in them?





Yeast!





They were rocks.





So, yeah - that happened.





Another part of the home economics class involved sewing aprons (I presume to be worn during biscuit-making). Now, I'm no seamstress (see above - I should have failed home ec in the 6th grade), but as I recall, the apron-making involved cutting the fabric according to a pattern, sticking safety pins in the parts that were to be sewn, ironing the fabric, & then sewing it. I think this was the last project of the year, because I never actually finished my apron. I got up to the ironing, & that was about it. Oh, & it wasn't something that was to finished in one day - no way. We did apron-making for over a week!





Why didn't I get past the ironing part?





I was too busy philosophizin', theologizin', and proselytizen' of course!





Once I got to the ironing station, my friend Ashley was also ironing. We conspired together that we were in no hurry to sew our aprons, so we would just iron the fabric, & iron the fabric, & iron the fabric - for at least a week's worth of class periods! And it worked! The teacher never said anything about the fact that we spent at least 5-8 class periods ironing the fabric for our aprons - ha! Amateur!





What did Ashley & I talk about while we ironed & ironed? Religion, of course (so much for separation of Church & State). Ashley was a Mormon, & I felt it my duty to let her know that Mormonism was a cult, & of course that the fact that they called themselves "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" was not fooling me! I told her I knew they just called themselves that so people would think they were Christians, when they really weren't. I told Ashley that the Mormons weren't Christians because they thought you had to do good deeds to go to heaven, & as any real Christian knows, all you have to do is believe in Jesus Christ. (Thank goodness, right?)





Ashley didn't argue too much with me, although she did defend her Mormonism. She was pretty suggestible anyway (agreeing with me sometimes) & didn't put up a fight when I announced to everyone at the ironing station that "Ashley is Mormom & Mormonism is a cult." I - as you can see - had no problem telling people what was what.





My talents did not lie, however, in the domestic arts. I didn't fail home economics (either my teacher didn't notice I was ironing for days on end, or she didn't want to be part of my religious debate), but I certainly never finished the apron either.





It's a good thing I went to a Christian school the year after that - so I didn't have to call people out for being in cults!

As far as my housecleaning efforts today go though, I'm thinking that, in the end - although I had to do the housecleaning - at least I'm not expected to bring home this:

Let's hope that's what he's bringing home in less than an hour! White sea bass is my favorite!

P.S. Isn't he so cute?! I mean the fish, of course.

Ba-Dum, Dum, Ching!

A lot of people think my husband is pretty quiet & unassuming, but let me tell you, he cracks me up on a daily basis. He makes me laugh so freakin' hard, & I don't know if other people know what a comedian he is. He keeps it inside & saves it up for me I guess.

2 things that totally cracked me up last night, & still had me laughing today - they both center around our trip to Bed, Bath, & Beyond (BB&B - not as fun as BYOB).

We went to get a new shower curtain for 2 reasons: 1) the one we have is really dirty & since we're having houseguests, it's easier to get a new one than clean the one we have; & 2) the one we have is CLEAR which means that when someone is on the toilet at the same time as someone is in the shower, the two people can see each other. This isn't so much a problem usually since just the 2 of us live here (although I'm sure Chris could stand to stop hearing me in the morning saying, "Don't look over here! I have to pee!" when I get up), but since we're having houseguests, & since we only have one bathroom, it might be nice for someone to take a shower to not have to see the person on the toilet, & vice versa.

So, while we were at BB&B we saw the (oooh!) soap dishes! And (aaah!) toothbrush holders! And they not only matched each other - but they also matched our bathroom trashcan. Since we didn't already have a soap dish & we didn't already have a toothbrush holder, AND since they matched each other AS WELL AS our trashcan, we obviously needed those items. So, we were both like, "should we? should we?" & Chris finally said, "well, ok, I mean....we totally wouldn't be getting these, except, you know.....your birthday is coming up!"

That cracked me right up! Then I totally tried to convince him that he should wrap them up, & present them to me as a birthday gift while my family's here for my birthday! He wouldn't go that far though - something about not wanting to look like a crappy husband in front of my family or some such nonsense.

THEN, on the way home from BB&B, I was like, "Did you ever think that you would get so excited over a matching soapdish & toothbrush holder?" & he was all, "no, I did not!" I said, "oh honey, you're so domesticated," to which he responded, "RRRAAAOOOOOAAAARRRR!"

I was like, "oh wait, no you're not! You're a wild man beast!" He said, "Yes! I will rip your arm off & club you with it!"

I don't know if our brand of humor is really making any sense to anyone - but believe me, this had me laughing so hard I snorted, & not because I think the prospect of domestic violence directed at me is funny.

So Freakin' Excited & Other Randomness

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I said I was "back in the saddle." I've actually been in a depression (not really) b/c we didn't win anything :( Good thing we don't play the lotto that often, b/c I could not deal w/the constant disappointment if we did!

So, you ask, why am I So.Freakin'.Excited? Because I have family houseguests coming TOMORROW! My MOM (awesome!), my SISTER (awesome!), & my Aunt Sherri (awesome!) are all flying in tomorrow night! Ever since I moved from South Carolina to California - almost 4 & a half years ago - I have missed my family something fierce! So, even though I see some part of my family every few months, I am always SO FREAKIN' EXCITED when that time comes!

That's my sister above trying to help me get back in the tube last 4th of July when we had the awesome (not!) idea to tube all the way to Otter Island - even though the only life jackets on board made us look like Sponge Bob Square Pants. Look how helpful she is!

I also have a 4 day weekend coming up because I'm taking off Thursday & Friday to be with my family!!! Yay!

Omigah! I.Cannot.Wait! Do you remember that show "Newlyweds" with Nick Lachey & Jessica Simpson? Of course you do - don't pretend otherwise. Anyway, in one episode Jessica kept saying, "omigah!" and someone (her mom? Nick? can't remember) was asking her why she was saying that instead of "omigod," & she defended the word because it's sacreligious to take the Low-erd's name in vain. She's right. It's one of the 10 Commandments - look it up if you don't believe me. Anyway, I totally agree, & ever since then, I have tried to use "omigah" instead of "omigod," although I never mention that I got it from Jessica Simpson (too shameful).

I have been So.Freakin'.Excited about my fam's visit lately, & then my Aunt Cheryl - who lives in Montana - called me over the weekend because she's in California on vacation right now, so she's coming to visit tomorrow & Thursday too. Omigah!! Me, my mom, Aunt Sherri (who's real name is Sheryl too, btw), & my Aunt Cheryl will all be here at the same time. It will be awesome fun. I hope the hubby can stand it :)

So obviously, I am related to my mother because she birthed me (& my sister Blair), & I am related to my sister Blair because we have the same mother & biological father (not true for all my siblings, so pay attention). And guess how Aunt Cheryl & Aunt Sherri are related to me & my mom & sister? Ok, concentrate now, & I'll tell you:

Aunt Sherri is my biological father's sister, a.k.a. my mom's ex-husband's sister, a.k.a my mom's ex-sister-in-law.

Aunt Cheryl is my mother's brother's ex-wife, a.k.a. ALSO my mom's ex-sister-in-law.

In other words, my mom will be chillin' with her daughters (only 2 of them - she has another), & her ex-husband's sister (a.k.a. her ex-sister-in-law) as well as her brother's ex-wife (a.k.a. ALSO her ex -sister-in-law).

My Aunt Sherri will be chillin' with her nieces, her brother's ex-wife (a.ka. her ex-sister-in-law), & her brother's ex-wife's ex-sister-in-law (a.k.a. her ex-sister-in-law's ex sister-in-law).

My Aunt Cheryl will be chillin' out maxin' & relaxin' all cool (but no shootin' some b-ball outside of the school) with her ex-husband's sister (a.k.a. her ex-sister-in-law) and ex-nieces by marriage (although we still totally consider her an aunt, & not an ex-aunt - she's way better than her sucessor), and her ex-husband's sister's ex-sister-in-law (a.k.a. her ex-sister-in-law's ex-sister-in-law). Confused yet? My head hurts....

The best part? We all get along swimmingly, we all love each other, & we're all totally psyched on seeing each other. Really! I'm not being sarcastic. I.Cannot.Wait!

This actually isn't a picture of my family - it's just here to remind people that some families? Are WAY weirder than mine, mmmkay?

BTW, "The Fresh Prince" theme song? I know you caught the reference above!! I thought I was soooo coooool that I knew all the words back in the day! And it was my husband, who only in the last couple years, corrected me on the above-mentioned lyric. Apparently, it does NOT say, "Chillin' out maxin' & relaxin' all cool while shootin' some MEATBALL outside of the school...."

Him: Meatball? Really? I can't believe you thought that! You played basketball in high school for cryin' out loud! You should know that a short term for "basketball" is "b-ball" - not MEATBALL!

Me: Yeah, yeah, I knew "b-ball" was short for basketball, but I thought "meatball" was maybe some kind of African-American lingo for basketball too.....

Him: What?! How could you think that?!

Me: There was only 1 black person in my senior class.

Him: Oh.

I win, I win, I win!

I am about to win 2 HUGE prizes!

First, I'm going to win a million dollar house because I entered this raffle:

I know you can't see that (b/c it's a crappy image, but I'm too lazy to find a good one), but it's the 4th Annual Santa Barbara Million Dollar Home Raffle. We bought a ticket ($150 - I know, frivolous) a couple months ago, & the drawing is in a few weeks! They limit the amount of tickets sold, & the odds aren't too bad but also aren't that good. BTW, if I had that $150 right now, I so would not buy a ticket - we could really use the $$$ after Uncle Sam took his share! But I just know we'll be so glad we bought it when we win it :)

Second, I am going to win a trip to the Galapogos Island with this guy:

(Ha! I love that a shirtless picture of Alex Trebek was one of the 1st to show up on Google Images!)

Jeopardy is doing a promotion for about 6 weeks where you can enter daily to win a 10 day trip to the Galapagos with Alex! And today, I entered!

As you may have noticed, everytime I enter a contest, I really believe I'm going to win it (which proves that The Secret is total bullcrap). It's a good thing I don't play the lottery regularly, because on the few times a year that I play, I save my ticket & count down the minutes till the numbers are posted.

My belief that I will win runs so deep, that I already know exactly what I'll do when I win. With the lottery, the plan is usually that I'll quit my job (w/a 2 week notice of course, but realistically, how productive do you think I'll be? pfffft!), & immediately take an amazing trip with my family to an exclusive resort in the Carribbean.

When I win the house (May 11th - mark your calendars, folks!), I'm going to take the cash (there's a million dollar cash option), because I can't afford the winners' tax on the house (which would be about $500,000), & then I'll buy a house with the leftovers. With the trip (nevermind that I've entered once, & the contest has been going on for over 2 weeks), I'll first jump up & down like Olive from Little Miss Sunshine screaming, "I won! I won! I won! I won!" & then I'll save up my vacation time for October when the cruise takes place.

I can't wait!

P.S. Yes, I know, I haven't posted in months, & my only excuse is that I've moved - physically - from San Diego to Santa Barbara. I have no other excuse, because actually? I have more time these days! Yay! No more billable hours! I will say, however, that as far as blogging goes, I'm back in the saddle & ready to ride!

P.P.S. Don't tell anyone, ok? but I don't know how to ride a horse....this was hard to get around when I went to horse camp, but that's another story.